@KaylieJordan14: What fellow believers are telling you about not being unequally yoked is a Biblical principle, and it’s a vitally important one.
Does God love both you and your S.O.? Absolutely!! Could God be using your relationshp with your S.O. to help draw your S.O. closer to the Lord? Yes, he certainly could be.
However — and this is a BIG however, that does not mean that it is God’s will for you to be dating your S.O. or for you to marry him. Obviously, I don’t know God’s specific plan for your life or for your S.O.s, but I can — with great confidence — tell you that it is not ever going to be God’s will for a strong Christian to marry someone who is not also a committed believer and follower of Jesus Christ. Your S.O. could eventually BECOME that person. However, I would not ever, ever, ever counsel a Christian woman to marry a man who does not love Jesus MORE than he loves her.
It’s vital to keep in mind that God has a perfect will for your life. None of us is perfect, and none of us is going to navigate our way through our entire life without making some mistakes. We’re human. We have emotions. The Bible speaks of the war that occurs between our “flesh” (i.e. our mind, will, emotions) and our “spirit.” It is not a common theme in this modern world in which we live to think in terms of ourselves, as Christians, having to “die” to our own wants and desires or to “surrender” our will to the will of God. Not only does this sound completely crazy to non-Christians, it probably something that is not very comfortable to many believers! However, this is EXACTLY what Jesus commands us to do. Whoever loses his life for Christ’s sake will truly find his life. A fundamental truth of the Christian faith is that we must indeed die to live.
This type of thinking sounds absolutely ridiculous to those who do not know Christ. It sounds incredibly “restrictive” — as if God is just up there waiting to drop a lightning bolt on our heads, waiting to tell us what we’re doing wrong, and wanting to keep us from having fun. NOTHING could be farther from the truth, however. God’s love for us is SO great that no human being — not even our own parents or spouses — could EVER, EVER come CLOSE to loving us as much as God loves us. And, unlike the humans in our lives, God IS perfect. He is and provides EVERYTHING we have need of. But we need to be willing to surrender everything we are, everything we have, to His plan, his will. When we do that, he often will take things, and even relationships, out of our lives. But he ALWAYS replaces them with things that are even better for us. Even if what is better for us for a season is to be by ourselves. I can tell you that, when I finally realized this, I was far, far, far, far, far happier and more content with my life single, than I was dating someone who was not God’s will for me. When I insisted on holding on to the wrong relationship, I was literally limiting what God could do in my life at that time, and I did not even know it. However, Romans 8:28 still held true. God, indeed, works out everything for our good if we are called according to His purposes. Even our mistakes. 🙂
I did not meet or marry my Godly Darling Husband until I was in my mid 40s, and I have been following Jesus for most of my life. I first accepted him as a child, but I didn’t truly commit my life to him until I was 18. When I was in college, I met a guy and fell in love. He was “Christian,” but he was not really fully committed to the Lord. Because we both were young, we ended up staying in a relationshp for almost three years, but, he was not God’s choice of a husband for me. God allowed that relationship to end without my having to make any choices to make that happen. I cried buckets of tears, but I was much better off in the long run. After college, when I was out on my own, I ended up getting into two relationships, one right after the other, with guys from my church. I figured, if I dated a committed Christian, then I would be right where God wanted me to be. Nope. Both relationships turned out to be very bad for me. Neither was “the one.”
Finally, I met a guy who was “perfect” in so many ways. He was nice, sweet, sincere, funny, intelligent, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous, and he had a wonderful, amazing family. He and his family really love God. It seemed so wonderful, but, yet, I had nagging doubts, because we were from two different branches of Christianity, and neither of us felt as if we could leave our own faith for the other person’s church. I kept wondering how our relationship was going to work. EVERYONE, including my strong Christian family and friends, thought I should marry him. When he eventually asked after almost three years of dating, I said “yes.” But, deep in my heart, I KNEW that things just were not right. Long story short, with God’s help, I eventually came to the conclusion that, although I loved my then-FI, and he was perfect in SO many ways, I just could NOT marry him, because God had something else for me. If I truly wanted God’s plan for my life, I had to be willing to walk away, trust God, and wait.
I had NO idea that I would have to wait another 17 years!!! If I had, I don’t know if I could have had as much trust and faith as I did along the way. However, in HIS timing, God brought my Darling Husband into my life, and He allowed me to marry the man HE had chosen for me. I am now married to a pastor!! 🙂
You will need to decide if you truly want God’s best for your life — whatever that is — even if it costs you that which is most precious to you right now. If you fully submit and surrender this choice to the Lord, HE will show you what to do. Trust in His will AND His timing for your life. Do not move ahead without Him. He has a wonderful plan for your life, but you need to trust that He will do what is best for you — and your S.O.!