(Closed) Christian sex…

posted 7 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think different people have different opinions when it comes to what is and is not acceptable.  I personally believe that God made our bodies and within marriage you should enjoy them as long as you are not hurting the other person or doing something the other person is opposed to. 

Post # 4
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think it may depend on your denomination as well as your personal beliefs. I agree with FranksMama, personally. After marriage, anything is allowed as long as no one’s boundaries are being crossed. Perhaps you could consider getting some spiritual guidance from a pastor about this? Or are you already having pre-marriage counselling, because I’m sure sex would be covered as part of it.

Post # 6
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@kimmy13:You will be married and you can do whatever floats your boat. You will figure it out, setting boundaries and expectations for a relationship varies. Every couple is different. Some are bigger freaks than others:0) Pace yourself.

Post # 8
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Scripturely the only bounds is what is okay with you and your husband aside from “sharing” the bed with an outsider… which would include pornography.

(Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed is undefiled)

If you and him are “okay with swinging from the chandeliers” (as one pastor said) then it’s okay 😉

 

Post # 9
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

It’s not so much that some denominations have “rules” rather than they have different ways of looking at sex.  For example, some denominations view sex as an act for procreation that should be open to life (i.e. God decides when you have children, not you).  In that context, anything that prevented God from choosing to give you a baby during sex would be bad.  So if you think of it that way, oral sex would be OK as long as it eventually led to vaginal intercourse. 

On the other hand, some denominations view sex as a unifying act between husband and wife.  In that context, anything would be OK as long as it lead to unification between husband and wife (so sharing the bed would be bad or forcing one to do something they didn’t want to do wouldn’t be good).

But I think the common theme among all Christians is that sex is a religious experience (some call it a type of prayer).  So at the very least you should try to think about the experience and what you would think would be pleasing to God.

Post # 10
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@runsyellowlites: That’s a poor translation of Hebrews 13:4.  A better one is

Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers.

You can see the difference there.  In your translation, the existance of the marriage bed makes it undefiled.  In my translation it is incumbent upon those who are married to keep the bed undefiled by not being immoral or adulterers. 

Post # 11
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think Christian sex should always be unitive and not just for pleasure. I mean, its definitely fun, but should also be about growing closer as a couple.

This might be a given, but I think that it should exclude people who aren’t part of the union that has been made. IE, no threesomes.

I would also avoid things that are potentially dehumanizing. I mean, if you want to unleash your bad-girl side a bit that’s probably okay. But when you are getting into S&M that’s probably not. And everyone might have different ideas about what is dehumanizing, so its important to talk things through as they come up. For instance, one partner might be uncomfortable with oral sex. 

Most importantly, it should be done in love.

Post # 12
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@CatholicBee My apologies.. I took it from the New King James Version (part a)… & just left out the 2nd part b/c as long as one is faithful to the marriage I would assume they wouldn’t be considered “fornicators or adulterers” (which is heb 13:4b or “whoremongers” in the KJV) I guess I could do a word study on it to get a better understanding though. thanks =)

EDIT: the word honourable here meaing: valuable, costly,esteemed, honored, dear, precious (per strongs dictionary)

So I really think that as long as you and your FH hold in high regard the others heart, desires, and feelings then you are holding each honourably and you are free to do what is going to unify and bring you closer together =)

Post # 13
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Our premarital class said to use our best judgement once married. The whole group was pretty uncomfortable with that lesson (thankfully we were split up for the indepth part) but it was a healthy discussian. I can’t remember if they said anything specific about “the back door” (but it is not an option for FH and I) but they did say oral is okay- the key is to make sure you both are okay with it and have wisely thought about it.

Most pre marriage classes (espeically faith based ones) seem to cover sex towards the end of program. And every couple I know who has gone through it has said it was the most awkward lesson of the program.

Post # 14
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Whatever you are confortable doing with your husband, it is allowed. So long as it doesn’t break any obvious laws. AKA, no kids or animals or anything even remotely close to those lines.

Post # 15
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Mrs Hedgehog: Did you know in some states oral sex is still illegal? 

Post # 16
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@jedeve yes… and there have actually been couples that were arrested and charged for being caught in a hotel room together.. I can’t remember what state though (sorry for getting off thread subject)

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