Post # 1
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
My SO and I have been together for 3 years now, we set up boundaries ( we have crossed some ) but one thing we will not do is move in together before marriage. WE have inforced that since day 1. I am out on my own and he’s still at home. We’ve been speaking about marriage together from early on in our relationship and we both feel confident in that being the next step/end goal. He even got my a promise ring for my birthday ( December )..but I can’t help but think what the heck is taking so long!!?? Please tell me i’m not the only girl in this positition, we’re still youngish but our relationship has always been a mature one. I know he has nothing up his sleeve because he’s transparent as all heck, so I know he’s not hiding a ring and waiting for the right time, and I don’t want to rush him but I am sick of having a relationship where I don’t see him everyday.
Post # 2
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
How old are you? Just curious because you said you were youngish. Also, to be honest the advice will be different if you are 21 vs 30
Post # 3
Member
9809 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
First off, how old are you?
Have you sat down and had a timeline talk? Does he have things he wants to accomplish before getting engaged? Where are you in life with regards to things like career and schooling (if you went this route)?
Post # 4
Member
947 posts
Busy bee
If he’s still living at home, is it because he doesn’t have a stable career? I strongly suggest that both people be completely done with schooling and well into their adult lives before marriage. A long engagement? Sure. But wait. Wait to get married until you are both independently established. This means no one lives with mom and dad, no one is in school, and both have had the burden of living on their own with adult bills, responsibilities, etc. for at least a year.
Post # 5
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
Echoing the how old are you question. I’m also curious where you’re both at in your careers. You mention that he still lives at home. There’s nothing wrong with that in this day and age, but if he’s not making a good salary, it could be a financial thing. No need to rush into things!
Post # 6
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
I would think that if you just got a promise ring that an engagement ring is a long way off, like not on the radar at all. But I don’t know the two of you so I could be totally wrong, that’s just my initial thought.
Post # 7
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
Yeh, I echo the how old are you question. And the PP saying that if you just got a promise ring it sounds a good few years off. I’m sorry you are feeling impatient, me and my partner were together 5 years before he proposed and even he said it was the earliest he felt comfortable doing it.
Post # 8
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
Hey Bee, I agree with past posters, but I have my own ideas too. I am young, engaged, and still live with my parents. I am still in school, planning a wedding for next June, right before I start graduate school. My Fiance is out on his own, graduating this May and has a job lined up. It was verry important to me that we not move in together before a serious commitment was made (an engagment). This summer we will be moving in together, we have had all the serious talks and discussions that come along with intention to marry and fusing 2 lives into one… The point I’m making is that it doesn’t matter how young you are, sure there is always time, but if you know he’s the one, you’re confortable and mature in the relationship and stable in your lives. I don’t see the harm in asking him what he thinks/feels and what timeline might look like for him. It will give you some peace of mind.
In the meantime, enjoy life, your promise ring, and relationship. Everything will work out how it’s supposed to. I was with my man for 4 years before he asked, just be patient.
Post # 9
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
Bring it up to him, like kinda nonchalantly and see what his reaction is
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