I didn’t wait. My religious reasoning was thus:
– Much in the Bible was relevant to a certain time and place… a time when it made more sense to avoid shellfish, or to observe other taboos. These rules were designed to protect women in a patriarchal society from being used and left with a child to support, in the days before birth control. Now, we not only have birth control, but women are in a better situation.
– G-d is a father… why would your father not want you to have sex (aside from the obvious… disease, pregnancy etc)? It’s because of the emotional damage that engaging in deep relationships before you are mature enough for them can do to both you and your partner… so that’s a good reason to wait until you are older. But you know when you are ready.
I should also say that I think we live in a society where we have disposable clothes, food… everything. We have learned to take and take, and I’m not a fan of sleeping around because that treats people as if they are disposable as well.. as if one can be simply swapped for another. It seems disrespectful to your fellow human. I’ve also seen how it can lead to hurt feelings… and I will also say that I’ve seen more men hurt than women, so this isn’t a gender thing. My feelings about this apply equally to both genders. However, sex within a committed relationship is completely different to this.
I should also say that abstainance is just not a “thing” in the UK. It’s not really a concept that most people (including most mainstream Christians) really understand. There is also a lot of pressure to have sex… I know people who waited until they were in their mid to late 20s and then really struggled to find partners, simply because the people they dated wondered if they had some sort of dark secret reason why they were still a virgin, and decided to stay clear. So I must say that, sadly, that pressure did affect me. I didn’t want to make myself “undateable”.
Stace126: “(a girl I worked with had a son before she got married, but her Catholic priest still baptized him and later married the couple). This would be UNHEARD of in the Catholic churches I attended. Where I went, you weren’t even allowed to take communion if you were divorced!”
I’m confused… a Catholic priest is not allowed to deny a baby baptism, or to deny you marriage, even if you are living together. He CAN deny you communion if you are divorced, because the church does not recognise divorce, and therefore you have abandoned your spouse and sinned in their eyes. If you have the marriage annulled using the proper Catholic procedure, you may take communion again.
I’ve known plenty of people get married in the Catholic church whilst living together etc. Us, for starters! I am not a Catholic, but Darling Husband is, so we followed canon law.