Post # 1
I’ve noticed a trend in my Facebook friend circle lately related to Christian couples. I’ve seen a few different couples lately date for just a few months before getting engaged and then getting married less than a year after that. The total time from getting together to getting married has been a year to year and a half tops. Anybody else notice this? Christian bees, is there a reason for the speedy timeline?
Post # 4
The only explanation I could think of is maybe they are excited to have sex and push the timeline because of that? I was only with my husband for about a year and 8 months when we got married because we knew what we wanted and we knew we had it in each other.
Post # 5
A guy I dated is mormon. We dated briefly and broke up the day before a vacation to Japan. 5 days later I heard he married an ex girlfriend! They wanted to get married before his vacation was over, I suppose sex had something to do with it. It has been about 5 years and they are still together, miserable though.
Post # 6
I live in a very heavy LDS population, and I agree most people here get married at about 20-22 after dating for <6 months…because it’s the only way they “are allowed” to have sex.
Post # 7
I had thought of sex. I guess I was just hoping there was a better reason than them being anxious to get down. Hope they’re happy in the long run at least!
Post # 8
Not religious myself, but from a Christian family. Whilst I do agree that sex factors in, I don’t think it’s fair to generalise all Christians who have short engagements. I think it also comes down to the fact that they feel they have found the person God wants them to be with so that gives them an added feeling of certainty in their decision. Also unlike non Christians, they can’t really start their lives together until they’re married. For example, moving in together, buying a house, starting a family etc. (I mean they can, but it would be frowned upon). But yeah, sex definitely plays a big part for a lot of couples.
Post # 10
We got married after 10 months of dating and we are Christians. Sex was not a factor because we didn’t wait until marriage. We just loved each other and wanted to get married. We fell in love very quickly. We’ve been married for 3 years now, and we have 2 little girls.
Post # 11
We were married about 18 months after we started dating. We were engaged after a year, but then had a short engagement. We knew what we wanted and we also wanted to have several kids and I wasn’t super young, so we saw no need to have a long engagement.
Sex was a factor, as we waited for marriage. But it was also that we wanted to live together, and really just unite ourselves permanently. I was 32 when we married and Darling Husband was 29. We had both been single for a very long time and were just so incredibly grateful that we’d finally been blessed with one another, that we wanted to shout that from the rooftops.
Post # 12
I agree that sex is a driving factor here, but I think there’s more to it. Many Christians who wait until they are married see this as a rule that has to be followed. I can see how this would make having a longer relationship prior to getting married quite dificult and would lead to hurried marriages.
My fiance and I are waiting until we are married, but we don’t see it as a rule that has to be followed. Rather, we see it as a spiritual discipline that gives us an opportunity to develop our maturity as a couple and to develop patience. This has worked wonders for us.
I hope that doesn’t come across as preachy. What has worked for us isn’t necessarily what is best for everyone. Also, my first paragraph is quite a generalization. Of course each couple has their own circumstances and reasons for moving at a different pace.
Post # 13
A couple that I know from church were engaged within three months of dating and married within six. They had no problem saying that sexual desire was a huge factor. They kept saying stuff like how they’d been fighting the urge since the first date and how they came close to giving in at several points in the relationship. I definitely think that it’s very common among Christians.
My ex and I ended up having sex. I planned to wait but decided since we loved each other and were committed then perhaps it wouldn’t be such a terrible thing to do. I also felt better about it since we planned to get married. I can’t say premarital sex is the worst thing but I can’t say it’s the best thing either.
I’m definitely not actively looking for a relationship right now. I’m not sure whether I’ll wait to have sex in my next relationship or not. We’ll have to cross that bridge when we get there. With that said I don’t feel like I want to wait a long time to get engaged or married when I do meet that guy.
Post # 14
I attended a very conservative christian college, and almost the vast majority of people that I went to school with got engaged/married very quickly because they wanted to live together and have sex. I have several friends who are LDS, although none are very strict. However, one of my closest LDS friends did go to a traditionally mormom college and married very young/quick for that very reason – which I heard from the horses mouth.
Post # 15
Seeeeex! Many of them get married quickly due to sex.