Christmas card help!

posted 9 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
5186 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Personally I wouldn’t, you’ve been married for more than a year so it is too far away imo.

‘merry and married’ This just comes across as weird to me, you are supposed to be sending them merry wishes, not telling them how merry and married you are. 

I also don’t understand why having a budget made you unable to thank your guests? 

Post # 3
47175 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ladywoodelf :   Trying to include your thank you cards in Christmas cards is not going to help your image in your guests’ minds.

Mail your thank you cards this week and Christmas cards in a week or two.

Post # 4
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019


i think since you’re a year late you should do separate thank you and Christmas cards. They can share an envelope, but should still be distinct. 

Include whatever phrasing you want, but the thank you still needs to be handwritten and sincere. Possibly with an apology.

Post # 5
710 posts
Busy bee

 I thought you meant married this november not last!

Yea definitely don’t combine the christmas card and thank you card… Especially when you’ve had over a year to write the thank you cards. You should have gone with the hand written thank you letters, you still should. Generic thank you cards are not personal at all. I did hand written thank you cards for 100 people, each card took 15-20 minutes to write; I also included printed photos of each guest (family portraits, other pictures I thought they would like). Yes it took a long time but i’ve already gotten multiple from guests telling me how much they appreciate the letters and the photos. Don’t skimp on your thank yous

Post # 6
8774 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

ladywoodelf :  Nobody is going to say “They never sent us a Christmas card, how rude!” They will probably say “They never sent us a thank you card, how rude!” I recommend sending your thank yous and either skipping Christmas cards another year, or send them in a week or 2. But get the thank yous out right away and do not relate them to the holidays.

Post # 7
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Write the thank you cards now. Send them. Then send holiday cards if you feel so inclined. 

Unless you were homeless or in a coma, there is never an excuse no to thank your guests. The priority is the thank you cards, not holiday cards. 

Post # 8
11789 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

ladywoodelf :  No excuses. You need to “toss the idea” of handwritten notes right back in and send a proper thank you. In this case you also need to apologize for how terribly remiss you’ve been, without making excuses, and go on to say how much you appreciate whatever they gave you. 

There is no need to go on for paragraphs.

A thank you note should never be combined with a holiday greeting card for your own convenience. 

Post # 9
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018


ladywoodelf :  Our Thank You cards costed us like $10. Nothing fancy, which is better than nothing at all… and we hand wrote every single one, it’s not that hard.

Anyways, like others have said- don’t combine. Take the time to write your thank you cards and send them out, seperately from your holiday cards.

Post # 10
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

no, you shouldn’t do a newlywed card because you’ve been married for a year, you’re not newlyweds anymore. 

Also, I don’t understand how your budget/schedule limited your ability to send thank yous, I think the majority of us were on a budget/had time constraints. There’s no excuse for not sending thank yous, period. 

Post # 11
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

bibliophilacticbee :  I agree with this. It’s rather late to send Thank-You cards at this point, but it should still be done. Including a Thank-You note along with a Christmas card is a nice compromise; it’s not ideal, but it would work. I know I would be perfectly ok receiving both in one envelope.  

“Dear Aunt Jane, 

Thank you so much for attending our wedding last November! We loved celebrating with you and we hope you enjoyed your trip out west. Thank you for the lovely gift; the blue flowers on the serving bowl match our blue kitchen tiles perfectly! We love you dearly and can’t wait to see you again.

In gratitude, 

Bobby and Sue Smith”

Post # 12
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Greenspot Farms

Thank you cards are a must, Christmas cards are not.

Post # 13
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

There’s absolutely no excuse for not sending out thank you cards for a wedding. It’s so rude. Everyone has time. It’s a matter of priority.


Post # 14
484 posts
Helper bee

“At one point I thought about doing handwritten letters to each but that idea was tossed out since it would be 50 or so letters and I can go on for paragraphs.”

I’m confused…? Your thank-you notes have to be handwritten/personalized anyway so I’m not sure what you threw out this idea in favor of

Post # 15
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

If you send out Christmas cards gloating about how “merry and married” you are more than a year after failing to thank your guests for their kindness and generosity, it will not reflect well on you.  I cannot imagine how continuing to celebrate your own marriage (for no reason at all – it’s a holiday greeting!) could be considered to make up for your prior rudeness??

Start writing those thank yous tonight.

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