Post # 1
A couple nights ago I blew the Christmas challenge in the heat of a debate. Ugh. My work schedule is 2-11pm 5 nights a week so naturally I absolutely cherish my nights off and the time I get to spend with my daughter and BF. Unfortunately, sometimes I place unfair expectations on my nights off and I was expecting a little more romance my last night off. (I was also PMS-ing, which certainly does not help the situation.)
Well, I voiced my opinion (sometimes I really think that I should be locked in a room with no communication to the outside world when I’m hormonal) and he was talking about how he’s naturally not romantic often. He gave an example of how his brothers aren’t naturally romantic with their wives either…(see where this is going?…) I said “well their wives may not need it as much- they’re more established in their relationships.” He was like “Whoa, we’ve been together for 4 years and live together with our kids- I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” And then, the kill shot from me “Well they’re married!”. FOOT. IN. MOUTH. He was like “Yeah, I don’t buy that. That’s BS. You don’t need a ring to feel secure.” I knew he was right, so I just said “You’re absolutely right. I do feel secure” and started backpedalling and getting back to the original discussion.
I don’t think my comments really fazed him which is good. If it had bothered him I would definitely know. I am a tiny bit happy that I voiced that opinion being that I’ve been very quiet about the topic since we’ve moved in 9 months ago.
Post # 3
Meh – don’t feel bad. I think part of the point of the Christmas Challege is that it’s really hard to NOT have it on the brain if you are a “waiting” woman during this season, and we can very easily take what could be a productive conversation and turn it into a cry-fest of “why don’t you love me?”
If he’s not upset, then you don’t need to be upset you spoke up. Personally, I’d have had a bit of a freak out at the “anytime soon” comment. I know your SO didn’t mean it that way, but I’d have a hard time in the wee hours of the night not hearing “sometime later” and wanting to hash it out.
Chalk this up to PMS and have a Merry Christmas 🙂
Post # 4
LOL. Somehow, I was indeed still rational enough to not freak out about “anytime soon”. Probably because I do know in the back of my mind that he does have his feet firmly planted. He’s ridiculously slow and deliberate and does not say things or make promises that he can’t keep and he really prides himself on that. He calls me the love of his life, talks about stuff that we’ll do a year in advance, says “If we get a house” (the “if” isnt hesitation about us…he just has a bankruptcy under his belt so thats the issue ), our kids are super close, and I think I may actually be as close to his family as he is…hehe. So everything is there…it’s just like the topic of marriage is just the “Elephant in the room”….all the time…hehe
Post # 5
It happens to us when we least expect it- I had mine the other night not intending it at all. It didn’t faze him, you can brush past it too *hugs*