- 10 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
I wanted to pass this information on to you all. It may be a BIG stress reliever during this holiday season, hehe.
1) If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2) If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3) If a friend comes over while you’re making your cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend’s first cookie is calorie-free (rule #1) yours is also.
4) Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5) Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6) Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five. one calorie for each letter. Eat more red ones!
7) Cookies eaten while watching “miracle on 34th street” have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package, not ones personal fuel.
8) As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9) Any cookies consumed from someone else’s plate have no calories since they rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.