(Closed) Christmas Gifts

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

All I would want for Christmas is an ering as well, but I definitely don’t expect to get one. I’d rather he save his money. 

For me, I love buying Christmas presents and I usually spend a couple hundred dollars on him, but to make it fair, I suggested we set a spending limit this Christmas (since I want him to save his money). I originally said $100 as a limit, but somehow (his fault) the limit is now set at $40! How the heck am I supposed to find him a gift for $40?! Lol. It’s not a big deal though, because maybe now he’ll set aside his extra money for a ring for sometime in the future.

I wouldn’t necessarily request no gifts so that you guys can save. Maybe tell your SO that you’d like to be more financially responsible and save money, but you’d feel bad if he spends a lot more than you do on Christmas presents. Pick an amount you’d be comfortable with him spending and tell him you’d like to set that as the limit for Christmas presents… with no cheating! Tell him this is a chance to be more creative with presents (because it can be hard to shop with a spending limit, and he could also become crafty and make you something to save money too).

Enjoy the holidays and don’t expect a ring from him for Christmas or it may just ruin the holidays for you if you don’t get one. Enjoy Christmas time for what it is!

Post # 5
Member
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@yellowlinedpage: Yeah – when asked that’s all I can think of, too.  Yesterday he thought he was making a great gift suggestion with a dishwasher… and all I can think of is I’d rather have a ring and wash dishes by hand like I have for 14 years than a stupid appliance that may not work, and will take a lot of work to get it installed since we need a cabinet re-done to house it, and then to re-locate all the stuff from that cabinet into the already full kitchen.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, being able to load a machine and flip a switch might be better than standing at the sink for 30+ minutes every day or so, but it’s far from what I want to make my life “better”, since I don’t get asked by people when I’m getting a dishwasher for drying out loud – they’re a bit more concered with when/if we’re going to ever get married. 

I know that I’ve located online several rings and sets that would make me perfectly happy that would cost less than a dishasher and its installation, but I have no way of telling him this.  He thinks it’s bad taste for the woman to shop for her own ring, so I don’t know how to get into a conversation that won’t be forced about it, especailly not before Christmas when I’m doing my damndest NOT to talk about it.  I’m probably going to end up with a book of some sort… or maybe some more free time on my hands, but nothing else on them 🙁

Post # 6
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

We are in the same boat!  We will be closing on a house mid-december and alot of money is being dedicated to the house.  I told him long ago that it isn’t necessary to get gifts, that there are more important places we need to put the money.  Maybe you can explain that y’all have a lot of things going on right now, and you know a house takes a lot of money.  Like purplebee said, maybe you can set a limit on how much to spend. 

Post # 7
Member
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@purplebee: Spedning limits can make it a bit more fun sometimes – my office has a lot of people from other cultures who actually don’t celebrate Christmas, or not the way we do in the States, so our office limit is ridiculously low – $5.00.  We end up with loads of gag gifts and I’ve gotten known for handmaking mine, but they are still popular.  It makes it more fun to know it’s going to be soemthign silly in all the wrapping  – meanwhile I’ve seen other offices have high-for-co-workers limits, like $40.00, which is more than I spend on some family (kinda broke and Christmas requires a lot of creativity to get everyone covered).  Those office parties often seem greedy/grabby about the gifts and aren’t as much fun to me.

I think y’all need to have a discussion about it again, and lower the limit to something sweet but not soemthing that’ll push back any serious wedding/ring planning/shopping/ debt payments.

Post # 8
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know I’m not getting a ring for Christmas… I broke the Christmas Challenge and we talked about when he was planning to do it. He told me it would be next year… not what I wanted to hear but at least now I can enjoy Christmas in peace. My advice would be to talk to your SO, maybe say something along the lines that you’d love a special type of sparkly and see what he says.

Post # 9
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Not sure if I’m getting an e-ring for Christmas but I sure hope so. My timeline expires the minute we’re into the new year. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas one night via text while he was at work. He says: “what do you want for Christmas, besides for me to put a ring on it” Haha funny (in my mind I’m like at least you know) But I responded: “nothing that’s all I want”….Too bad I forgot to add not to get me a gift at all if it’s not an e-ring. Like other PP’s said I’d rather he save his money. I don’t want or need anything else. And I don’t want the disappointment so I’d honestly rather he not purchase anything if it isn’t that.

Post # 10
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I 90% sure I am getting my ring around christmas, but not because its christmas (our first date was around then).

About the no gifts thing, we do have a budget for christmas gifts for each other.  This is more because #1-we have a lot of family to buy for, #2-we have three ‘christmases’ (we spend time with his dad’s side, his mom’s side, then my family), and #3-we are trying to save money where we can.

This year and last year it was $30, and we had to get three gifts with that money, one to open at each place we go.  It really has been a fun challenge for both of us and I highly suggest doing it!  I forgot what I got him last year, but he got me a magazine subscription, a T-shirt that I had wanted (and he scoured the whole of NYC to find), and a photo collage of pictures of us in a frame he already owned.  It really surprised me how much effort he put into those gifts.  We don’t have a spending limit for birthdays and anniversaries, and its not that I don’t like the gifts I get, there really has been less effort put into getting them.

Post # 12
Member
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Isilme: LOL engagement dishwasher perhaps??

 

I really wish I was getting a ring this Christmas… Last night he proudly pronounced, “I know what I’m getting you for Christmas!”  and left it at that, despite my asking what it was.  Right after this though, I turned on the tv and one of those stupid Kays commercials come on and I just give him a look like, “Buddy, it better be sparkly.”  I am in the mindset that it is not going to be the least bit sparkly, whatever it is, so I won’t be dissappointed with what I get.

As far as spending $$$ for our Christmas gifts together goes, we don’t have a limit.  This year, Mel Brooks Young Frankenstein is playing in a nearby city so that’s my gift to him (about $80 a seat and it’s one of his favorite movies ever) and then I’ll get him a little something to open on Christmas, too.  He usually gets me a bunch of small things that I need/want that he gets on discount from his store, so he doesn’t spend a lot either.

Post # 13
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@yellowlinedpage: It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be when I proposed the idea last year.  Usually mine are more silly/practical, since his birthday is also in december, and thats when I get him something bigger and fun.  It also let us still celebrate with our families and not go overboard.  

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