Christmas- How Many To Shop For?

posted 4 months ago in Holidays
Post # 16
7526 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

About 30 😭 

We have tried so hard to cut people out but I’m always scared of looking like a Scrooge for not wanting to participate in the cousin secret santa. I know we need to just not worry about what people think but we’re already kind of the black sheep of both our families 😂 

Post # 17
370 posts
Helper bee

roughly 15.  we don’t buy for all of our aunts/uncles/cousins because there are just too many and we are all okay with that.  so mostly immediate family and spouses (although this is starting to grow now that we have two nephews!). 

Post # 18
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Barely any compared to some of you!


Two siblings


Sometimes a secret santa gift with two groups of friends, I don’t think we’re doing it this year though. 

Post # 19
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Immediate families only (SO’s and mine). As most of our siblings are coupling off now, we buy for the couple rather than individual. Nieces and nephews are few enough still that we buy for each, but in the coming years as that number grows we’ll probably switch to a secret santa approach where a cousin buys for a cousin.

Post # 20
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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annabananabee :  How come you buy for family but not for friends? I get non close friends but what about best friends. I don’t know when you say you have other obligations my best friens are important to me


Post # 21
4779 posts
Honey bee

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soexcited123 :  Because we don’t have to buy each other things to prove how much our friendships mean.  We find other ways of enjoying our friendship at the holidays like spending time together.  We all understand that we have our own families we buy things for as well as things like car payments, mortgages, daycare, etc.  And we are all adults who work for a living and buy ourselves the things we need and want and are past the point of buying trinkets just for the sake of having a gift because a calendar says you should give a gift on that day/occasion.

If we just happen to see something we would love for the other person to have and want to give them, then we get it and give it regardless of the date on the calendar without any pretense of having an “occasion” for us to give it.  But otherwise we’ve all sort of collectively agreed that we can dispense with the buying a gift for the sake of having a gift and generally don’t buy each other gifts for Christmas.

Post # 22
28 posts

I buy for my side (parents,3 siblings,sister in law and 3 dogs) Husband buys for his side (parents, 2 siblings) We don’t buy for friends and never really have, we do send cards and try to get together for dinner though! and I might buy something small for their kids. 

We stopped gift giving from/to aunts and uncles, cousins etc. on my moms side a long time ago. and my dads side we’ve started to just have a white elephant game. 

my husbands extended family just gathers for lunch/dinner and his grandma gives everyone a box of chocolates. 


Post # 23
634 posts
Busy bee

I think 5/6…


Boyfriend’s brother (he is just getting a six-pack of beer decorated to look like Reindeer – Reinbeers!)

Parents (split a gift card to a nice restaurant with my three sisters)

Grandma (take out to lunch)

Uncle (split a sweater with sisters)

Kris Kringle with my family

I give my assistant $100 cash (not sure if that is a gift?) and take her out to lunch

My friend group does a wine draw – everyone brings a bottle of wine to Friend Christmas and then we draw and somebody takes all 6 bottles home

Post # 24
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I didn’t see it mentioned much, if at all, but does anyone buy for grandparents? The way Mother-In-Law handles asking for Christmas lists and buying for everyone it makes Darling Husband and I feel guilty if we don’t buy for the same people she does, grandparents included and they are the hardest to shop for. 

Darling Husband never did gift exchanges between cousins but I did on both sides of my family and it was genius. I remember it saving my mom a lot of money. So on each side we put all the younger cousins (like under the age of 12) into a hat and drew from there.  Fortunately, the numbers evened out and we only bought one gift per kid-cousin per side. 

This year, I sought out advice for grandparents from Mother-In-Law and she sent me some ideas and I was like “Oh that’s a good idea, those are cute” (sweaters) and she took that as I wanted them and said “Okay, great! I’ll order two for you, one for each grandma.” *facepalm* Like… I didn’t want to spend $40 each. 

I have no-contact with my family (parents + brother) so that saves money since we don’t buy gifts for them. So far this is our list, not counting Darling Husband and I buying for ourselves/each other – 

  • Mother-In-Law – Shutterfly ornament, Bath & Body Works wall-plug in with scents, devotional book and bookmark
  • Father-In-Law – Can Cooker
  • SIL – silicone cat wine buddies/charms and weighted blanket
  • Future Brother-In-Law – some drill bits 
  • FIL’s mom (grandma 1) – Candle and sweater 
  • MIL’s mom (grandma 2) – candle and sweater
  • MIL’s dad (grandpa) – digital weather station/clock … which I was hoping to make a joint gift with this set of grandparents
  • My aunt and uncle – Shutterfly ornament and some 5×7 prints from our last photo session
  • My great-grandparents – Shutterfly ornament 
  • My grandparents – 5×7 or 8×10 print

No nieces/nephews to buy for because there are none and likely won’t be for a few years. Darling Husband and I are the oldest within his family (and I’m the oldest great-grandchild) so our kids will be the first nieces/nephews to buy for and to start any cousin exchanges with. 

Thankfully we spent less than $300 on Christmas for everyone this year, but its still a lot to us. I think the big way we saved was by just giving the Shutterfly ornaments (made with a photo of us and year) and the photo prints which I typically get from Walgreens. Its crazy how much grandparents and aunts/uncles like that stuff, especially if they are the traditional type to keep photos of each “set” of family around and love updating them over the years. 


Post # 25
535 posts
Busy bee

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robinegg3 :  I have no family so I used to just shop for my 2 kids and thats it. 

Now I shop for my 2 + my stepdaughter and husband. We also buy for his parents, his brother/brothers gf, and his sister. Its more than I like, but its nice to have a family so I suck it up 🙂

Post # 26
634 posts
Busy bee

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kmbumbee190618 :  

I only have one grandma nearby, so we take her out to lunch. It goes much further than just buying her things that she doesn’t really need. We mostly live pretty far away so she values the time. I also print about 40 photos every six months or so of me doing things with my friends/my life and send them to her. She’s getting a set with her Christmas cards.

Post # 27
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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minnewanka :  This is a good idea, we’re close with our grandparents so I’m going to keep those ideas on the table for the future. I wouldn’t mind one bit to leave grandparents out of gift-buying and if I’m being honest, I highly doubt they care. I feel like our grandparents are at the age where they enjoy US (and future kids) opening up our gifts. 

Plus of course, we’d save soooooo much if we didn’t buy and just cooked them a nice dinner or went out to eat or something. 

Post # 28
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - Concord, Ontario

Each other, grandparents, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews  about 26 gifts 

Post # 29
9016 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I would assume that anyone not mentioning grandparents has lost them or never had a relationship with them (estranged). 

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kmbumbee190618 :  

Post # 30
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - City, State

Aside from my fiance, I DIY everyone else so I technically don’t buy anything except for materials which makes things much more affordable. I crochet and bake stuff usually. 

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