Post # 1
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
I was talking to my SO today about Christmas, and the subject of gifts came up. I had already decided we needed to have a spending limit for each other’s gifts, and it needed to be the same for both so no one ended up feeling cheated or like they didn’t get as much. When I told him how much, he was shocked! He felt like he should spend much more!
That being said, I should add, I’m in school working towards my degree, so currently I don’t have a public job. I can’t spend as much as he can. He, however, has a really good job, and could more than afford the “limit” I set.
My question is, should I let him spend what he wants, or keep to my limit? Why?
Post # 3
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Why wouldnt you let him spend as much as he wants? So that you don’t feel bad?
Post # 4
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
I think you can ask that if he feels the need, he can spend a little more, but within reason (up to, say, maybe $50). Explain to him that you still intend to stick to your initial budget, and hope he can as well, because saving is better than spending!
Post # 5
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
As long as he understands that you won’t be able to match him, and isn’t one to gloat about “how much better his present was than yours” then I see no problem in letting him spend as much as he wants.
Post # 6
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
@cbee: I do think I would feel guilty if I couldn’t spend as much as he did.
Post # 7
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@babybee92: Yeah… I think it is up to you, really! If that makes you feel bad… or you could do special things for him that don’t cost a lot but are thoughtful- baking him cookies, a nice dinner, or whatever it is that he loves, to kind of “make up” for the difference in cost?
Post # 8
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
@babybee92: Yes let him buy you what he wants! I would not feel bad 🙂
He wants to get you something special and he can afford it. You can also get him something just as special on a smaller budget.
Post # 9
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
Now that we’re married it doesn’t really matter because our money is pooled, but Darling Husband makes about twice what I do. He always spent a lot more on gifts for me than I could on him. It bothered me a lot, then I realized that was his choice and something that gave him joy. So I let him.
(It helped we only dated through one Christmas and birthday each)
Post # 10
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
@FutureMrsJohnson_: He’s not that type at all, thankfully! He did make the comment that he wanted to “spoil” me, which sort of implied that was something I couldn’t do considering the budget, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. Men sometimes don’t think through things as much as we girls do!
Post # 11
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
@babybee92: Good!
I said that because one of my good friends is dating a guy who told her last christmas her gift wasn’t “good” enough so he returned the gift he bought her. They had only been dating a couple of months, so she bought him stuff he needed like razors, lotion, a nice shirt, etc. I called bullshit and said he didn’t even get her anything. That wasn’t his first GIANT RED FLAG (or his last), but she’s gotten great at ignoring them lol. So, I’m happy to hear that this is not the case with you :]
Post # 12
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
@FutureMrsJohnson_: That’s so very unfortunate. I’ve been really blessed to be with such a sweetheart of a man, thank goodness. Your friend needs to see the light!
Post # 13
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
I say let him spoil you! You deserve it.
Post # 14
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Why do you feel the spending limit had to be the same? I say – let him spoil you and be appreciative! If he doesn’t mind not receiving a lavish gift – then don’t ruin his desire to be generous with you! ENJOY IT! 🙂 🙂
