Post # 1
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
I’ve been thinking lately that I want to tell him not to get me anything for Christmas. I know he’s trying to save money for a ring and I also know that I will be extremely disappointed if I don’t get a ring and don’t really want or need anything else. Case in point: Last year, he got me some of my favorite treats and pajamas. I liked the items, but I couldn’t help being disappointed that I wasn’t getting a ring. I gave him a tv and a few other small things.
I’m not sure how to tell him, though. Do you think he would be upset or it would backfire somehow? I’m not sure if this makes a difference, but we had a timeline of the end of this year and he won’t tell me if that is still in tact or not. I only want to know so if it won’t be until next year, I don’t get my hopes up during the holidays. It would suck having to wait longer than I thought, but I would understand. Also, he was talking his finances and not wanting to go into debt for my ring so I know he hasn’t bought it yet. He’s the type of guy who will go shopping the day before a birthday or Christmas and get whatever he sees. Yeah, he’s that guy as well. I don’t think he understand that he would need to order a ring in advance.
My mom doesn’t help either. We heard Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” earlier and she was like “You need to tell SO that” Gee, thanks Mom. Ugh I hate waiting and all this stress.
Sorry, this turned into a mini-vent as well. Any advice would be appreciated.
Post # 3
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
Why don’t you suggest that the two of you agree to not get each other anything. Or, put a very low limit on gifts. Tell him that you’re trying to save money this year and you don’t particularly want anything.
Post # 4
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
@Lemma: That’s a good suggestion. I do tend to spoil him a bit so I’ll have to try really hard not to do that lol I added a poll usiong your suggestions as one of the answers, I hope you don’t mind!
Post # 5
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I agree with setting the limit. We are doing this for different reasons (wedding expenses) but I guess the same general idea. Don’t overspend, don’t get something we don’t need.
Post # 6
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
@wishingonadream04: I don’t mind at all! Good luck with this! I totally know how you feel.
One other option might be to think of something inexpensive that you both could enjoy and agree to buy it together and have that be your Christmas present to each other.
Post # 7
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
He probably WANTS to get you a gift.
Post # 8
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
@naenae_CA: My Fiance and I have scaled down gifts for the past few years. Each time we do it, he’s a little sad because he wants to get me something, but also relieved because he doesn’t have to think of something to get me. It sounds like the OP’s fiance might be extra relieved since he isn’t the type to plan ahead.
Post # 9
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
Maybe you could do something together instead of gifts… a trip, day activity, dinner?
Post # 10
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
Or something handmade if he’s handy or an artist?
Post # 11
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
@Lemma: That sounds like a good idea. The only problem is that we don’t live together so it would have to be something that cuold either be transferred between our places or stay at only one place.
@naenae_CA: I know he probably does, I’m afraid of being disappointed if it’s not a ring, that’s all. Sounds selfish I know, but I hated feeling that way last year and I don’t want to be in that position this year, if that makes sense.
Post # 12
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
We don’t have the money for a trip and we have opposite days off which has seriously killed the time we have to spend together. About the only thing we ever do is go out to dinner and that isn’t very often. He isn’t very artistic at all and neither am I so that’s out.
Post # 13
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
@wishingonadream04 It totally makes sense and it’s not selfish.
Post # 14
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
My Darling Husband and I don’t really do big Christmas gifts for each other. We usually set about a $10 limit. You really have to get creative and think about it more. Maybe suggest something similar?
Post # 15
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
It doesn’t have to be a big gift, but I feel that it is so worth it to have – even if from the dollar store – a little something to look forward to opening…
even if it’s a pair of socks or a chocolate bar 🙂
Post # 16
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
I agree with just telling him. He is, after all, possibly going to be your husband in the future, you need to be able to talk to him about stuff.
Darling Husband & I set a limit every year, we’re done that since we first started dating. And the year we were engaged, we didn’t do any gifts (no Christmas, birthdays, or Valentine’s Day; our “gift” was the wedding).
