Post # 17
Oh man can I relate to this post. He is saving for a ring as well and I told him I didn’t want anything since my birthday (in August) or any other holiday until he’s done saving. He told me that’s not happening because his family and mine will wonder why he’s not giving me anything. I told him I didn’t care, but he honestly does want to get me something. Personally, I don’t want/need anything, but if it’s something he truly wants to do, then I’ll let him do it. I voted yes, let him get you what he wants. I agree with the other bees, tell him how you feel and if he really wants to get you something, then come to a compromise. Life can’t be put on hold because he’s saving (trust me it’s easier said than done). Enjoy the holidays and the fact that you know he’s saving! Afterall, he’s in charge of his bank account and probably wants to put a ring on your finger as much as you want him to! Happy waiting!
Post # 18
I would just suggest doing some small gifts if he was trying to save up for your ring. It always lots of fun doing a gift exchange! I’m not sure your SO personality. However, my hubby before he propose refused to do it at xmas time, or bdays because it so expected. In 2010 he said to me that we would be engaged by the end of the year. Well NYE passed and still no ring. I remember at midnight being so upset. So it didn’t happen for me by the end of 2010 but he was planning on doing it early 2011 as he needed extra time to save up for the ring I wanted and he wanted it to be really special. I remember feeling that it was never going to happen. But in Feb we booked a trip to Aruba for April and he wanted to wait till then to propose as it was our 3rd year anniversary. It ended up being the perfect proposal with my dream ring and it was worth the extra few months of waiting! I know it is frustrating waiting but it will happen and I’m sure yours will be worth the wait also! Hang in there!
Post # 19
We’re setting a limit on gifts. Our anniversary is the same month as christmas. He’s getting a small present on Dec 15 then a bigger present on Christmas.
Post # 20
Setting a limit can’t hurt! Even if you can afford to be spendy, sometimes it’s more fun to make it a challenge 🙂
It may be good to approach the engagement as a separate question though – perhaps let him know you understand his plans may have changed, and you’d like to reevaluate the timeline you had discussed before. Then he has the opportunity to turn the conversation to finances if he wants to, but more importantly you can get the info you need from him.
And who knows – if he likes to get things done at the last minute, there’s still plenty of time for a 2011 proposal!
Post # 21
What a coincidence, I just went through this yesterday! Ugh, it’s so hard trying not to talk about a proposal while at the same time trying to plan your lives and all the expenses that come with it! Mind you, I am not expecting a proposal until April. Regardless my SO asked me how much I wanted to spend on Xmas gifts this year and I said “I’ll let you decide”, he asked why a bunch of times and finally I just blurted “because I thought you were saving for a ring and I didn’t want it to be an expensive Xmas!” He laughed at me and told me I shouldn’t be so nervous to mention the proposal. Then he reminded me I’m the woman he loves and wants to spend his life with, but the proposal is up to him, as well as the finances required… Ugh. I would probably come up short in the advice category but our talk did really clear the air! Lol.
Post # 22
I agree with the PPs about setting a limit! SO and I agreed on $60 this year because neither of us should be spending too much money since we are both in school.