(Closed) Christmas Time Frustration

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Makena Cove

@TeacherTraveler:  I would think that after 8 years you deserve a better answer than “If you keep talking about it, it will never happen.” I think at the very least, you deserve to have an open and honest conversation with one another about your expecations and whether or not he can see a life with you; forever.

It is not solely his decision to get married so I think he should be able to understand your feelings and where you’re coming from. If he really feels like, “Why fix what isnt broken?” then maybe its time to let him know you dont feel like the two of you have reached your full potential as a couple and back off a bit.

I understand it would be hard to give yourself some space when you have joint accounts, cars, lives etc. but look into Mr. Bee’s waiting advice and maybe try some of his pointers. 

Post # 4
3565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you ever thought about setting up some kind of a timeline? I’m not sure if this will help, but this is what I did.

Background info: SO and I are both 28 (I will be 29 in January), we’ve been together for 6.5 years, living together for 5.5 years. We’ve always been pretty open about marriage and kids. We both want to have 2 kids, maybe 3…but we both want to be married before we decide to start a family.

I explained to him that there are more risks factors to take into account the longer we wait to have kids, and with us wanting 2, possibly 3 kids, I wasn’t trying to be pregnant in my 40s. 

One night, this summer, he said we’d be engaged by the end of this year, and that I  could plan a wedding for sometime in the fall of 2013. (I’ve been planning our wedding for years, who does he think he’s talking to? LOL)

I don’t know if this having a talk like this would help out your current situation with your SO, but maybe you guys should sit and talk about both of your expectations of each other and your future together. 

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