(Closed) church ceremony brides!!

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Where did/will you have your ceremony?

    Church (or other religious facility)

    outdoors

    in the reception venue

    other - explain below :)

  • Post # 2
    Member
    2059 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i had my ceremony in a catholic church.

    we were allowed to have pew decor (though we chose not have any), but just could not use tape, staples, etc to secure anything. they recommended using pipecleaners.

    our photographer was allowed to sit in the front of the church, but was discouraged from walking around during the ceremony, which is understandable- you don’t want them to be distracting/disruptive. and of course, they were not permitted on the altar, which is just common sense. 

    we also weren’t allowed to have our flower girl throw flower petals.

    i think we ended up paying around $800 for our ceremony. that’s including the standard church fee, all the classes we had to take, the musician’s fee, and an extra gift for our priest.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by lilchicana.
    Post # 3
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    We’re kind of having a church ceremony, and I don’t know if there’s anything like this in your area, but maybe you can find something like the venue we’re using.

    Because of family (mostly his), we’re having a church ceremony, but it’s in my hometown, which is really far away from where we live, and the church I grew up in (which my parents very rarely attend) is way way too socially conservative for us, especially about LGBT issues. (We’re a straight couple, but this is important to us.) So, we didn’t really have a church we would naturally get married in.

    However, there’s a museum in my hometown that has a “old-time country town” type area, where they’ve brought old buildings from small towns around the state and set them up around a “Main Street” with appropriate displays inside, like a doctor’s office set up like it would have been 100+ years ago, etc. One of the buildings they have is a small country church, which actually used to be an active church back in the day. It’s cute and quaint, seats 75-100, and there are not very many rules about it. There are also other buildings of various sizes on the museum grounds, and we’re having the reception in one of those. Over all, it cost about $1000 to rent the church and the building for the entire Saturday and also time for the rehearsal the night before.

    We were living in another country when we reserved the venue, but after we got back to America and visited my hometown, we met with a pastor we got to know through my sister’s boss, who is part of a church where they are pretty liberal on social issues. She is pretty open to different ideas about the ceremony, like music, choosing our own verses, etc., as long as it is a Christian ceremony, she gets to do a homily, and it follows the basic normal wedding order. We’re pretty traditional, though, so the only thing we might change up is to have different music (in my fiancé’s native language) or something. She asks for about $300 including the rehearsal dinner and three meetings (required before the wedding to get to know each other and whatnot).

    Anyway if there’s any venue around you that has something like that, maybe you could check it out and have the church feeling without all the rules. Good luck!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    We are having a church ceremony, i’m not in love with the church but i compromised for my Future Mother-In-Law. Be prepared for counseling. I was anti counseling, but it was’t AS bad as I thought. Our pastor.. i dunno, he is an odd duck. Our church doesn’t have any guidelines for photography, but we shall see.

    I do believe a good photographer and do wonders with zoom though.

    Post # 5
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    cantwaittobeemarried:  We are having a presbyterian church ceremony and their rules are pretty strict. The only area where the photographer/videographer is allowed to shoot is from up in the congregation balcony or through the window of the doors that open into the sanctuary. They are also allowed a remote camera but it must be BEHIND the altar which really makes no sense. I scouted out photos from this venue and photos are doable with the zoom and we are allowed to use the church before and after the ceremony for additional photos.

    We are allowed minimal decoration and no decorations at all on the altar. We are only allowed to choose from their selection of organ music. We can not throw real flower petals, we must use silk (less slippery).

    All of our vendors that are dealing with the church MUST sign a form stating they understand and will conform to these rules.

    The church is pretty expensive: minister $250, custodian $100, coordinator $250, organist $250.

    I am sure there is more but I can’t remember!

    All that being said, I’m excited to get married traditionally in the church with the traditional Here Come’s The Bride. The church is beautiful and doesn’t really need decoration anyway. And even though it is not OUR church (we’re not affiliated with one at all), the pastor has been so sweet and welcoming. It also helps that he and my fiance are both from Philly!

    Post # 6
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    cantwaittobeemarried:  i didn’t have a church ceremony, but my cousin did. 

    churches do usually have their own set of rules. for my cousin’s wedding, no flash photography, and the photographers/videographers had to stay put in one location (which led to some not so great pictures and videos.) 

    since my cousin got married at a large historic church, it was about $1800. i think though usually if you get married at your home church, the fees aren’t so high (generally a “donation” is accepted)

    Post # 7
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We had a church wedding and I coordinate weddings for that church, so I’m doubly helpful on this one.

    We’re a medium size (seats 300) beautiful church in downtown Chicago. Protestant. We charge around 1500 for the space. Another friend works at a megachurch. They charge 3000 for their space.

    We have a lot of limitations, but none too hard to work around. We limit the photographer in order to respect the reverance of the ceremony, but generally, we loosen them if the couple and the minister agree to it. By limit, we mean, no flash during the ceremony (which is unnecessary with our lighting anyways) and not swarming the minister and the couple. Photographers are allowed down whatever aisles and pews they’d like.

    Decorations are restricted to things that won’t damage the pews, so you’re limited with adhesives, etc. We limit some other decorations if there is a concern they’ll damage the property and some placement (no flowers on the piano). We get the most flack for limiting what can be thrown for a grand exit (basically we allow bubbles), but that’s actually for insurance reasons.

    If you really like a space, call and ask how stringent the rules are. Sometimes, as with many of our decoration ones, we’re lenient if you’re willing to cover the cost of damages or you let us know how important it is. We had a bride that really wanted 20 ft. trees in the sanctuary. We worked with her on how they needed to be transported and arranged to minimize damage, but let her know that we’d send her a bill if they caused any damage as they carried more risk of damage. She agreed and it all worked out just fine.

    Post # 8
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I had a Catholic church wedding. The photographer was told to be discreet and to stay off the altar, and any pew decorations had to be attached with masking tape only. Also, any floral arrangements had to stay at the church. You weren’t allowed to throw rice or bird seed after mass, although I haven’t ever been to a wedding that used anything other than bubbles, so that was no big deal. The required fees were $150 for the church, $150 for the priest, $150 for the organist (although the organist is my brother, so we didn’t have to pay this one!), $125 for the cantor, and $20 for the altar server. We also hired a trumpet for $125. We also made a donation to the church and bought my brother a gift since he played at the ceremony and cocktail hour for free. Our marriage prep classes were free, and required a pretty minimal time commitment – we met with our mentor couple once for about an hour or two, and once with the priest. My church doesn’t have a ton of weddings, so things were pretty simple. I know that some of the more popular churches for weddings in my city (Pittsburgh) have a lot more rules, and are significantly more expensive.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

    We had an Anglican (Episcopal) church ceremony.  The only restriction was that we couldn’t use blue tack or tape to secure pew decorations, and no confetti to be thrown (I think we could have had flower petals but we didn’t anyway).  No classes or anything required and they were also completely happy for my father to play the organ for some of the service (he does know what he’s doing, is the organist at a church in my home town) which some we looked at weren’t.  Total cost was $1050 which included church, organist, some flowers, and the marriage license.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1117 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    We’re having a church wedding (Lutheran) and there are similar rules regarding the photographers – no flash, not allowed past the back row during the ceremony, etc. Our photographers have worked with that church before though and have not had a problem getting great photos. I also kind of like the idea of keeping them out of the aisle – during a friend’s wedding, the photographer was right in front of me for the “I Do’s” and the kiss! I couldn’t see a thing! The wedding is about you and your guests, not about getting “the perfect shot” 😉

    Couldn’t tell you about pew bows. I think they’re allowed but we didn’t ask.

    Post # 11
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I would find a small church if your guest list isn’t too big. Maybe non denominational if you can. Also newer churches may have less rules and will probably be happy to let you get married there as long as you pay the fee or make a donation since there are a lot of expenses to building and starting a church.

    We are getting married in my family’s baptist church. I grew up in this church and most of my family goes there so they are not charging a fee. We’re making a $100 donation and I’m paying the pastor $100. There has only been a few times when non members have gotten married and all the pastor asked was that it was cleaned up afterwards and nothing was broken or stolen. There is no charge for nonmembers but a donation is nice. I was not given any rules but my pastor is really laid back. 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee

    Getting married at the Catholic Church at the university where both my fiancé and I went. It’s considered a NYC landmark, so there’s a decent amount of decor restrictions. The church is so ornate that we don’t plan on doing pew bows or anything, I just think it kind of looks out of place. 

    It costs 900 just to reserve the church, 300 for the church organist, additional money for a cantor and the priest, and a 100 check as a pre-emptive late fee. If I start walking down the aisle 5 minutes or later after the start time they cash the check. They do this because the schedule weddings within 2 hours of each other. 

    Photographers have to be discreet and I believe no flash is allowed. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I just got married in an Episcopal church.  There was no mention of flash photography, but I don’t think any was used. A good photographer can take great pics without flash.  Our photographer was in front of the front pew crouched down I think.  I g ever saw him during the wedding or in others pics.  We could have pew decorations but opted not to.  It is a beautiful old church with wood pews that are carved.  For flowers we had 2 pillars down in front and 2 high alter arrangements.  We left the flowers on the high alter and took the pillars to the reception.  If you are set on here comes the bride, the episcopal church generally will not allow it.  We did our premarital counsElina and it is our church so fees were less.  We made a nice donation after the wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

    The thing with “Here Comes the Bride” is that it’s by Wagner, who was a violent anti-Semite and one of Hitler’s favourite composers.  I’ve never heard of a church not allowing it though?  It’s actually the wedding march from the opera Lohengrin, as it happens.

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