(Closed) church ceremony disappointment

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

One important thing to keep in mind is that if you get married in a church or temple it should be because of religious beliefs – not because it makes a pretty backdrop for your wedding. It seems that your Fiance feels much more strongly about his Jewish faith than you do of your Episcopalian (you can correct me if I’m wrong, that’s just how it seems from your post), and it would be a shame for him to be unable to get married in the faith that is so important to him so that you can have your church, which doesn’t mean much to you but it just something you wanted as a little girl – not something that should take precedence over faith/religion.

Post # 4
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Are there grounds outside the church where you could do a second ceremony? I had the thought that you could do a Christian ceremony in your church and then move outdoors and do a Jewish ceremony under a chuppah.

Just a thought..

Post # 6
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If the church ceremony is important to you because of your faith and family traditions it doesn’t seem quite right for you to have to forgo it. Could you maybe have two ceremonies on consecutive days — say, Saturday and Sunday — so that you’d have a sort of “wedding weekend” rather than just one wedding day? I totally understand worrying about the second ceremony being gypped, but so long as each ceremony has a purpose and is meaningful in itself, that’s all that matters. I think it’d be a nice way for you to bridge the gap between your separate traditions.

Post # 7
Member
4125 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Could you have a secular marriage ceremony and then have two blessings?  One in the temple and the other in your church.  They needn’t all be on the same day of course.  Just a thought.  It means that both sides of the family, and the both of you , get your important religious elements but that one religion doesn’t outweigh the other.

Post # 8
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It is good that you two were able to agree about the future with children and all, but it does seem to me that you are the only one doing the compromising. If you are ok with the children being raised Jewish and having a Jewish household with non-conflicting traditions then more power to you. However, if this means a lot to you and you are already going to let his traditions shine, the least he could do would be respecting your beliefs for one day as well.

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