(Closed) Church Dilemma

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would say, if this is something that is important to him, especially since you don’t have a church suck it up for him. There are ways to make a church look nicer, and it seems like this is one area he feels strongly about. The thing is which is more important, your “vision” or your future husbands feelings?

Post # 5
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

@SoonToBeMrsD921: Lots of people do that. More than an hour would be far, but people will drive it. You seem to just be finding reasons to not have it there.

But again, generally guys don’t care that much about wedding details, and this seems to be important to him. Marriage is about compromise and sometimes, the things that don’t just fit perfectly into your vision can be worked with because it is sometihng that holds a lot of value to him. 

Post # 6
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i agree with chasesgirl, give in. this is his home parish and it sounds like this is very important to him. guys normally don’t get a lot of say (or care about whether we choose periwinkle or cornflower linens). you say you don’t want to be selfish, so don’t be. if you’re thinking you’d be walking down the aisle “wishing you were somewhere else” then you’d have bigger issues! when the time comes, all you’re going to care about is that he’s at the end of the aisle, whether it’s 5 ft or as long as a football field.

i originally wanted to get married in a different parish because mine is huge and not as pretty. but when it came down to it, my church may not fit my “vision” but it the most sentimental one to me and being able to receive the Sacrament in the church I grew up in is going to be an amazing experience. don’t take that away from your FH.

oh and FWIW, my church is ~25 mins away from the reception site.

Post # 7
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Weddings are first and foremost about the emotion behind the union, not about how pretty the aisle looks. Let him have this one.

Post # 8
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

if he actively practices and you do not, it’s his choice.  i think you need to get over the aesthics and put into perspective what’s actually important here.

Post # 9
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

This is obviously important to him and since you don’t have a home church, I think you should get married in his.  As PPs have said, marriage is about compromise and this will be the first of many.

The “beauty” of the church has nothing to do with the love and sentiment behind the vows that will be said there.

Post # 9
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Darn WB – double post!

Post # 10
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Is it the building he loves or the people?  I’m not Catholic so I don’t know about the rules.  But, is it possible to have his preist perform the ceremony in a different church? Our church is UGLY and has two aisles rather than one.  Most people in our congregation have our pastor marry them in a different church building.

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