(Closed) Church told my family not to attend wedding :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Oh. My. Goodness.

This is so terrible.  I would have nothing to do with a religious organization that says you can’t marry someone outside your religion.  I bet they use the verse about being unequally yoked.  Your dad is going to miss one of the biggest monumental events in your life, that to me is so sad and so wrong.  I’m very sorry.

I really really hope things change.

Post # 4
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Why try and cram yourself in to a box when you can find one that fits you? It sounds like your parents need to man up and find a new place of worship, if their best suggestion for your family is to SKIP THEIR OWN CHILD’S WEDDING.  If that’s a battle they want to fight, then you are doomed. I am biased though b/c I don’t follow religion. I’m sorry that you’re going through this..

Post # 5
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am so sorry! How awful for you to find this out with seven weeks left to go. Are you comfortable typing out the two different religions you and your Fiance are? Because this seems really unusual to me. It could help me understand a little better.

I really dislike when people use the bible as an exuse to be hurtful.

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow. That is incredibly upsetting. Even more so that the church is manipulating your parents to not attend their own child’s wedding. What religion is that?! I’ve NEVER heard of anyone talk about that on the boards before! I understand not being allowed in the temple for some religions, but to actually have your own church position held over your head for it?! I’m so so sorry for you; I truly cannot understand a parent choosing something over their child, as much as an importance as I know religion is.

Post # 7
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m so sorry you are going through this. In my mind, religion is a place where one can be themselves, worship what they believe in, with the people they love — No matter what religion THEY are.

 

No religion should put someones own FAMILY out. To me, that’s not the christian way. Would God put his own children out of heaven just because they worship in a different building? No. Believing is believing. Worship is worship.

 

I’m with Melissabegins on this matter… It’s your wedding and your family should be there. I wish I had a solution for you, but if you say your family will choose their church’s demands over their own childs, that’s just messed up!

Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Exactly @jgoulart.  This is unchristian.  This is not love.  This is not what God is.

Post # 9
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m Roman Catholic – And I DO follow the church and her Teachings… not always popular but I do….

That being said, I’m confident to say that I CAN follow her teachings to the letter because the church would never put me in a position like this! Jesus, the trinity, the Holy Family… everything, including all of Christianity is modeled on Family and Marriage! How un-Christlike to deny attending your own child’s wedding… 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@waitingbee – every life change starts somewhere – in my opinion, this would be a good time to find a new place of worship, seriously. You only live once; why spend it feeling like crap when you could joyfully practice in another place? It’s good that your parents chose you.

Post # 12
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry your dad lost his position in his church.  However, he is doing the right thing.

Post # 13
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@waitingbee: Ok, that actually does make a little more sense now that I know the church you are talking about. I am willing to bet, when you are ready and have the time, you will be able to easily find a support group (whether locally or online) for people who have been shunned from their church and family. It might help to talk with people who have gone through something similar. Please don’t feel like this is something you have done wrong. Shunning is unfortunately a fairly common practice with Jehovah’s Witnesses.

That said, I’m happy your parents chose you and your Fiance in this. I’m sorry your Aunt and Uncles can’t do the same.

Post # 14
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I’m sorry that you and your family are dealing with this right now.

Post # 15
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m very sorry to hear this.

I know it won’t make it better, but maybe you can have a “family dinner” to celebrate, sort of a very private event, since they won’t attend the wedding. Maybe in good conscience they could attend a dinner, though? This way you could see your aunts and uncles (unless you feel too burned to see them, considering).

Post # 16
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d be really proud of your Dad.  He made a really tough decision, given how important the church seems to be.  But he weighed them and he decided you were more valuable to him.  Don’t feel guilty – feel blessed! It’s tough that your wedding brought this decision to light, but it was not you putting him in this position, it was the Church.  They’re the ones who did the wrong thing.  Digital hugs to your Dad and you

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