(Closed) Church wedding ceremony but non-traditional wedding reception

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, this is really tacky. It’s fine to have a ceremony with just your immediate family included, then treat them to lunch after. It’s also fine to have a mid-day ceremony with cake and punch after in the church hall. You could then tell your guests that you’ll be at X bar that evening if anyone wants to stop by. But you have to host something for every single guest who attends, even if it’s just cake and punch.

Post # 4
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t know, I would feel weird meeting up with the couple after the dinner I wasn’t invited too, plus I would have to keep myself busy until your dinner was over. I feel like it may be best to pick, either the dinner for immediate family after, or a general “hey we are going the bar if you want celebrate with us”. Maybe do the bar right after and do dinner with your fam the next night, or brunch with them the morning after…

Post # 5
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A wedding is an all or nothing event.  Guests should be invited to the ceremony and all portions of the reception, and properly hosted at those events (they should not need to take their wallets out or foot their own bils.)

What you could do to save money is host a morning or daytime wedding with a cake and punch reception in the church hall or another, reasonably priced venue directly afterwards.  You can host everyone easily and not need to serve a full meal or open up a huge bar tab.

 

Post # 6
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What if you did a family dinner as the rehearsal dinner, then had the wedding with cake and punch, and then did the bar thing as well? 

Post # 7
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsAlvarado:  Maybe I’m in the minority, but if you’ve already had kids (I assume that’s what you mean about having started a family) and you’ve been together for a while, I am sure people pretty much think of you as married already. I don’t understand why anyone would expect you to have a big ceremony. Most people don’t even really like to attend weddings. I don’t get why you’d compromise your finances and future dreams to have a big party. I know you’re trying to save money and do it cheaper, but unfortuntely I think with weddings it pretty much has to be all or nothing to not come across as tacky/cheap. We’re going to elope. Why can’t you do something similar? It doesn’t even sound like you have your heart set on a big wedding.. so why not do something just for you and your man (and kid)?

I just don’t get why the wedding is such a big deal. It really is a ONE DAY event. Don’t let society’s expectations or your own family or whoever guilt you into thinking that you need to spend a fortune.

Elope and people will be happy for you. You’re just making your family more official now… I don’t see how that could annoy anyone… or why anyone would expect you to do more. It’s not like you’re 19 and want to marry for religious reasons or anything before having sex.

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

What would you possibly say to the guests who don’t make the cut for dinner?  “Hey less important friends and family, please leave now, so those more important to us can be wined and dined on our dollar.  But you all feel free to show up again later and buy us drinks at the bar?” 

It is also not polite to make your non dinner guests get all dressed up, then wait around for hours while you get fed, and then come back out.

It is not polite to have a tiered reception.  You must host every single person you invite to the ceremony.  You don’t have to do a full meal, but at least cake and punch or a sandwhich and soda, something.

Host what you can afford!

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