(Closed) Church Wedding Woes…

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

i would use your godfather as a liason since he was the one who was able to get through to the priest.  your family seems to have a long standing presence in your parish and maybe the priest just needs a face to face person to discuss things with.

at the same time, you’re quite a few months away.  many churches are not communicative on more than just the basic requirements and it seems like you’re working on those already.  most likely, you’ll communicate with them prior to the rehearsal and the priest will show up on the day of the wedding.  unfortunately, this is the case with many catholic churches.  it seems like weddings are pretty cookie cutter to them, so they don’t feel the need for gobs of communication.  but hang in there.  just make sure that your wedding is on the church calendar and the priest’s calendar.  and you don’t really need to speak to the priest in order to check on that.  it seems like the secretary may be more available for correspondence.

good luck!

Post # 4
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

it seems like she meant that message to be for the priest and not you. I think she meant to forward your e-mail to him, but hit "reply" instead. maybe you can reply back to her to let her know that you think you received that e-mail by mistake because it isn’t really a response to your original email. Also, letting her know that it concerned you because previous communication with the church had already been so unclear.

good luck! i think most people (including myself) are dealing with similar communication issues with churches (catholic and otherwise). I hope it all works out. 

Post # 5
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Somewhat similar situation…

We had a church we really wanted to get married in… my parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles and cousins on my dad’s side had all been married in the same Episcapal church.  My grandmother’s funeral had also been there too, so it had a lof of family history for us.   We ended up running into a lot of problems.. they had way too many rules, and one of them was no photography in the sanctuary… at all!  Photography was really important to us, so we ended up decided to choose a different church. 

We ended up going with a church that was nearby, and even more beautiful and old… and they allowed photography in the sanctuary.

At first, I was bummed because I had always seen myself getting married in that one church.  But after we started planning, it didn’t even bother us at all.. we created our own memories and tradition at this new one.  I didn’t even think about it on our wedding day.

I hope that is encouraging to you.  If this doesn’t work out, you will have just as beautiful and special of a wedding, as if you had it at the church you originally wanted to.  Good luck.

Post # 6
378 posts
Helper bee

Loveletter, I’m glad you said that you didn’t even think of your previous church on your wedding day. I too had my hopes and dreams set on getting married in our Catholic church where everyone in my family had their weddings and funerals. My mom (who teaches as the adjoining school!) talked to the priest shortly after our engagement to make sure everything was set to go and we learned that my fiance needed to get an annulment of his previous marriage even though a) he’s not catholic, b) his ex-wife isn’t catholic and c) they weren’t married in a catholic church. They’ve been divorced for seven years, she’s remarried and has a child and we didn’t even think of it. But through research and a lot of tears (on my part) we learned that most annulments take more than a year and need to involve witnesses, the ex, interviews, questionnaires, meetings, blah blah blah. Since our wedding is August 1, 2008, getting married in my church is basically out of the question. And personally, I don’t even agree with the whole annulment thing because it basically says that the previous marriage didn’t exist. Well, it did. And, being a girl, I don’t really want him to contact his ex to ask her ‘permission’ for him to get married again. I’m trying really hard not to turn my back on the catholic church because of this. 

So we’ve found a Lutheran church that will accept us as we are and I’m going to look at it as you said – we’re making new memories and new traditions. 

Post # 7
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Is the church pretty big? Our church had 3 different people we could have to marry us, we chose to have the deacon at our church marry us. Have you tried other avenues?

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