(Closed) Circumstances may force us to Elope.. tired of trying to please family.

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
11113 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@katiecat08: I considered it but didn’t. If you explained your reasons for wanting to elope, do you think your Mum would then take a step back? I suspect she just wants the best for you so is making decisions because of it.

Post # 4
1407 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Didn’t you just meet in May?  Maybe your famly has a point.

Post # 6
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You sound really immature. If you’re 23, you have plenty of time to get to know each other and get married. What’s the rush? Your parents are going to part of your life, so you don’t want to start off your marriage with a fight if you can help it.

Post # 7
993 posts
Busy bee

@katiecat08:  When you say “need” i hope you just mean you love him and couldnt imagine life  without him, not need as in he is your whole life, that isnt good (in my opinion).. Is there a certain reason for the “rush”? why do you need it so bad now (you echoed need at the end )?

it does seem a tad soon, but to each’s own. 

but if it is stressing you out that bad then go the eloping route. from my experience its gone either way with families being deeply crushed/offended to others understanding even though they would have preferred to be invited. just be aware of the long lasting implications ofyour decision because it definitely can have some. 

Post # 8
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

To be fair to your mother, you really have only been together for 5 minutes and I guess she’s concerned about you rushing into marriage before you’ve had time to know each other properly. Love may indeed have no timeline but that doesn’t mean it always makes sense to be declaring undying devotion too quickly.

You are, of course, legally an adult at 23 but you come across as quite a young 23 – not being able to be apart for more than 4 hours is the sort of dramatic statement that I’d expect to hear from a teenager in their first High School romance rather than an adult who is making a balanced decision about her relationship.

So sure, this guy may be Mr Right but equally, would it hurt to take things a little more slowly and with a little less family drama? 

Post # 9
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have a feeling this has less to do with how long you’ve been in a relationship, and more about how your mother tries to control you and you wanting to please God. Without knowing more details its hard for me to really pinpoint the issue, but I do want to say,  don’t rush off and elope just because your mom upsets you. Also, don’t get married just  to live together or have sex . Are you still living at home or relying on your family financially? If you are, even if you’re 23, that still gives them some leverage over you. I grew up in a very religious home with a very controlling mother. I really didn’t get out from my parents control until I was financially independent of them. at that point my parents realized that they either let me live my life and still have A relationship with me, or I could live my life and they not be involved. they chose to let me live my life and still have a relationship with me. You Need to draw some lines with your mother. You can do that, and still have respect for them. I hope things get better for you and that you get the wedding of your dreams!

Post # 11
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

Oh, and I still got the dress, the flowers, the bouquet toss, the cake, the wedding cake topper, the mini-moon, the photos. And for the most part, other than a few were kind of sad (which I don’t think I would have been able to please either way), everyone was excited and very supportive of us. 


Post # 12
1407 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Steampunkbride:  +1 No kidding… you know what, have sex if that is what this is about…. otherwise, be the adult you are pretending to be and don’t be wringing out your weeping towels over someone you’ve “known” for five minutes.

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