- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
LONG POST, but please read tags, and see if you may have any valuable knowledge, advice, opinions, or refferals on this matter.
Ok I am in a bit of a situation and am seeking some knowledge and opinions. I have been dating my fiance for six years now. After about four years of dating we began to talk seriously about marriage, we just knew we were so in love and meant to be, but we decided it was best not to rush and to wait until after we both finished college. Two years later and now we are both done and he proposed a little over a month ago. My fiance has also been considering joining the Air Force and plans to do so within the next couple of months. Knowing this we were going to try to plan a wedding for some time right after he gets out of Tech School ( b/c I would not be able to live him until after this point, but if we waited too long after he could be deploying) so at least 8-9 months from now.
Now I have heard things will be a lot easier if we were married before he signed up and left for basic. I heard that if we wait till after Tech School he will already have his first base orders and they will be “unaccompanied” orders and it will be much more difficult to have them changed, if it is even possible at all. Also if we get married now he will recieve better pay, a better BHA, and I will recieve better health insurance.
So now the issue is do we have a simply legal (no guests, no rings, no reception, simple vows) wedding within a month or 2 and then when he gets out of Tech School have a small religious ceremony and reception (in a church in front of God and our family and friends, rings, dress, cake, and such; I am religious and have always envisioned my wedding being in the church) this way I can greatly increase my chances of being able to live with him at his first base station.
I have run this by Mother who would be paying for the wedding and she says she understands just don’t tell her if/when I do this and she does not want many other people to know.
The final issue is, if I was to do this would it even be possible to find a priest (I am Catholic) or any other officiant (my fiance is non denominational) to perform a ceremony when not all of the guests may know it is not the actual legal wedding?
Any personal experiences, opinions, suggestions, or officiant referrals would be greatly appreciated.