(Closed) Civil ceremony now, wedding later?

posted 10 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
36 posts
Newbee

We might do this, but for us it would be because we’re already living together and my parents want us to get married before we get married…I think that if you don’t have the pressure from someone, then you should just wait until your actual wedding.  We have extenuating circumstances…

Post # 4
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This decision is totally up to you; I think it is really romantic that you are so in love and ready to take the plunge.

The only thing I can think of is that people may be less likely to attend the wedding and give you gifts if you are already married ( I have family members like this, unfortunately.)

Post # 5
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I say go with your hearts! I would make sure that you decided ahead of time that you figure out how (or whether) to communicate your marriage to your guests. You don’t want anyone to feel "duped" because they don’t realize until they get there that you’re already technically married. Somthing like this wouldn’t bother me personally, but it might bother some people so it’s best to figure out a clear communication plan.

You might consider timing your civil ceremony with your moving in together, which might help the actual wedding seem extra special. Being married already could take away from the feeling of your big wedding ceremony & reception, but it could also make the whole thing a lot less stressful!

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ya know, we are thinking about doing this too. I would say that the downside is definitely that your wedding day may not feel that special, but if you don’t tell anyone then it could almost bring back that special feeling because nobody KNOWS that you’re already married!

My situation is that we already live together, but if the future Mr. Burgundy can’t find a job soon (lousy economy 🙁 ) then I might need to cover him on my healthcare plan, which I think is a pretty good reason to get married civilly before the wedding.

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