(Closed) Civil union over a year before the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Mrs. Glasses had a civil ceremony I think like 6-7 months before her “wedding” it’s not as uncommon as you might think. Fiance and I considered doing this as well just to make all of the paperwork easier and not so overwhelming. 

Post # 4
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

@rampagingcoconut:

Been there and done that. I got married last October because my husband was going to be stationed in Korea and I wanted to go with him. We had to put off the wedding that was to be at a later date. This past weekend was my wedding, so I had been married a year before having our dream wedding. It will be just fine and it will be so much better, just in case he has to be sent out of the country like my husband, then at least you will be married. We are still stationed in Korea and won’t be back to the States again until next year. I hope this eases your mind. It can be done and it works out. My mother didn’t mind us going to the court house and she understood that I wanted to go with him but she told me that I could not rob her or myself of a wedding. We flew 14 hours back to the states for our wedding and it was wonderful. I posted wedding pictures so look me up. Good luck and Hooah <


( if you are Army)

Post # 6
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

@rampagingcoconut:

 

We told everybody, we weren’t at first, but then we didn’t want anyone to think I followed him around the world without being married.  I understand what  you are going through and that is why we weren’t going to say anything at first but it doesn’t change anything, everybody jumped on board and were at our wedding this past weekend. I am glad that I went with him and I got a chance to be his wife an entire year. We had been apart for almost a year previous, the military is a different way of life than what others live and we never know where we will be going next. I know you guys will do what’s best for you. P.s. We did not ask for anything and we didn’t even have a party after we went to the courthouse, we waited and did all that for our wedding. We got great gifts and money.

[attachment=1456005,184669] [attachment=1456005,184670]

Post # 7
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

I uploaded the cry baby picture,lol…The first picture was this past weekend November 13, 2010 and the second picture was on my visit to see him at Fort Leonardwood a month after we married at the courthouse.

Post # 8
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Well the health care you will be receiving doesn’t cover braces…but he will be receiving more BAH which you could use to help pay for your braces or use to save for the wedding.

My bestie best did a JOP a year before her planned nuptials.  But they are open about it.  They are husband and wife, she even changed her name already.  I don’t see anything wrong with it at all!

Post # 9
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I got legally married 5 months before the wedding so that I could have health insurance so I could stay on BC. We kept it fairly secret. It worked out great and was fun having a little secret!

Post # 10
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We will have been married for exactly one year before our wedding.  We had alot of reasons to do so and I do not regret it for one minute.  We talked about it extensively before making the decision.  I wanted to make sure he would still be as into the “wedding” once we were “married”.  He is, almost more so.  He introduces himself as the fiance and the husband.  We did/are telling everyone so it’s no secret, but we are telling them the extenuating circumstances.  I didn’t want people not to come to the wedding because we are already married. 

Post # 11
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We got married 6 months before our wedding for immigration purposes.  Let me tell you that we went into the civil ceremony thinking it wasn’t the real deal (even though we knew it was legally binding) and came away from it KNOWING that it was the real deal – the only things missing had been God and Anton’s family/our friends.  The wedding 6 months later brought it all full circle because it had both of our families and our friends.  I, too, changed my name immediately after the civil ceremony and I was up front with people about our plans for a civil ceremony first wedding to follow from the start.  People didn’t mind in the least!  They were just thrilled to be a part of the day even if that part was 6 months from the other part!!

My personal advice would be to be upfront with people.  Yes there ARE people out there that might mutter the words “fake wedding” but mostly you’ll find it’s from people on wedding boards (not saying it’s from these boards, but I’ve run into it on a couple).  People who know you and love you and understand the circumstances are going to be happy with and understand your decision.  BUT!  If you keep it a secret there is a lot more chance of people finding out and feeling hurt/lied to.

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee

nothing serious ,my husband and i live together before the wedding ,we  love each other very much ,we respect each other ,so it is better for this

Post # 15
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had a civil ceremony in 08 and had our actually wedding this past spring!

Post # 16
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 My fiance and I are doing this for one major reason. We’re moving out of state for my job and it would be much better for his education and healthcare purposes to be legally married prior. I personally don’t consider us “wedded” (if you will) because a government says so. This is primarily because I am psuedo-religious and feel that for me it’s really important to stand up in front of our family and friends and make a public declaration of commitment before God. The civil ceremony is for legality in our case. (Not saying anything negative about those who choose a civil ceremony over a religious or other ceremony. Just a personal choice as many things in life are 🙂 ) They do this sort of thing in Europe all the time. Have the civil ceremony and then a religious one if a couple so chooses.

Thing about all this wedding and marriage and life stuff? It’s what YOU want it to be. If you don’t want to consider yourself married until after you go through the wedding, then don’t. If you do, then do.

We’re not telling a bunch of people and it’s going to be kinda our little secret. To be honest, my commitment was made a long time ago. The wedding is just for the public declaration and celebration of that commitment.

 

Hope that helps!

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