(Closed) Civil wedding takes away from the ceremonial wedding day? Would I feel cheated?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters

I could be wrong, but from I thought you have to file a k-3 spouse visa while you’re still in Canada.  Like, after you get married you would have to return to Canada to file your paperwork and wait for the visa to be processed.  My fiance’s Canadian and I could have sworn I’d read that somewhere.  We chose to go the Fiance visa route because the processing times are shorter.

At any rate, we’ll be doing a civil ceremony seperate from our wedding.  At first I was worried about it taking away from our actual "wedding."  But, I’ve decided that, to me, what makes a wedding special is sharing it with your friends and family.  We’re not going to make a big deal about our civil ceremony, it’s just going to be another part of our immigration paperwork.

So, you should do it if you need to… I think your wedding will still be just as special. 

Also, look into the spousal visa process if you haven’t already.  It’d stink to have to spend more time away from your Fiance than necessary.

Post # 5
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters

I’m not changing my name, wearing my band, combining bank accounts or any of that good stuff until after our wedding.  I even told Fiance that we should wear jeans and a t-shirt to the courthouse.  He recommended going to Vegas because, "how many couples get to be married in Vegas AND have a real wedding?"

Anyway, I’m not going to consider myself married until after our wedding.

He lives and works in Vancouver and hasn’t had any type of visa before.  I didn’t know you could stay and marry on a work visa, it’s great that you can!

Have you checked out Visa Journey? It’s been pretty helpful for us when we were filling out all of our paperwork.

Post # 6
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

My fiance and I have been wondering about this too. He get’s home for his R&R in December but don’t want a civil then to take anything away from the wedding wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters

We’re getting married in California in May of 2010.  We’ve booked our venue, chosen our colors and theme/motif, and I’ve designed our invite suite.  Other than that I’m reading wedding blogs getting ideas  : )

 

It’s definitely hard being away from our boys!  At least an end is in sight.

Post # 9
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

He will just be back for 2 weeks.  We don’t have a specific date becaus ehe doesn’t know when he will be able to take leave specifcally but sometime this next summer.

Post # 11
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

@carrie38707 Thank you so much! I hope things work out well with you and your fiance. Keep us posted!

Post # 12
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t feel cheated on my wedding day…because I’m planning a civil ceremony before my "real" ceremony.  We’re going through the K-1 visa process now.  My wedding anniversary date is going to be the one with the ceremony with my friends and family.  I also found out that one of my friends got legally married to her fiance about a month ago so that they could do the adjustment of status.  They’re getting married in Mexico next year!

I also suggest checking out Visa Journey.  If you are already working and have the visa to prove it, you can get legally married and start the "adjustment of status" process in the US now.  And you can do all of this while still working.  If you decide to stop working, make sure you have enough savings to cover expenses, both life and immigration.  Adjustment of status is expensive.

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I hate to be a bubble burster, but I would have. We talked about getting married when he got home from Iraq, then decided to wait the extra year and get officially married at our actual wedding.

I’m glad we did. It really felt amazing. But that’s not to say that’s for everyone and our situation was very different than yours. I just know the anticipation was there that it was really truly official. But i have lots of friends who got married before their deployment then came home and had a big ole wedding! 

Post # 15
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Put it this way, we are planning our full out real wedding. Got married at the courthouse, but I don’t really feel married. Yes, he is my husband, but it doesn’t feel real…I’m guessing that after the wedding it will be much more real. So to me, it’s not going to take away from our wedding at all. Just thought I would put in my 2 cents.

Post # 16
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am marrying a Canadian, too, but luckily for me he has US citizenship as well. I have kind of the opposite question. After we get married what do I need to do to get a spousal visa to move to Canada?? We aren’t moving to Canada immediately, but we figure we will at some point, especially if we have kids (He is French Canadian and we want the kids to have their formative years in a French-speaking environment so they are bi-lingual).

Have you called the immigration office and asked them what the steps are that you need to take? I think its hard to get a visa to stay in the states if you don’t have a “reason” to be here (ie: work or school). Maybe its not even necessary to do the legal marriage before the real wedding? I remember MsPoodle talking about engagement visa paperwork…

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