Post # 1
I’m not pregnant or TTC yet, but another post on here got me thinking about “name stealing”. If a lot of people in your circle are pregnant or TTC, at what point do you consider it fair (or reasonable) to “claim” a name?
I know nobody owns a name and you can’t try to control what others name their children. I’m asking about what, in the privacy of your own mind, you think is fair.
Post # 3
our boy name has been stolen 3 times in the last year…needless to say…we are no longer using that name. Unless, we don’t have a kid for like 10 years and then we won’t care. haha.
Post # 4
lol, we don’t even want kids and at one of our first family dinners my niece (who’s 23) claimed about 8 names just in case 😀
Post # 5
I don’t think you can! Everyone has a right to any name.
If you don’t want people to steal ‘your’ name don’t tell anyone! Then if they come up with the same name (which can happen) they didn’t steal it they just have great taste!
Post # 6
Psh! We’re years from babies and I’ve already claimed my girl names. I’ve loved these names forever and honestly, I’d be pissed if someone I knew used them. I’ve only “claimed” the names within our close, immediate family and my best friends so I haven’t gone totally batshit crazy. 🙂
Post # 7
Added options for “never” and “pre-ttc”.
Post # 8
Only time you get to claim a name is after it’s on their birth certificate.
I’m not super paranoid about someone “stealing” our names because I’m the only one of the close friends who is pregnant, so I’ll get there first anyway. lol
Post # 9
There are a few names that I would like to use when I do have kids. One of the names has already been used so that’s out. I agree with zippylef on not being able to actually claim one until it is on the birth certificate. The only name my Fiance ever wanted to try and “claim” was the name of his older sister who passed away as a child. All of his siblings were fighting over the name for the longest time. Then they found out that they had a half-sibling who has a daughter with that name so that one is out too.
Post # 10
In my family, there are a few names that crop up often. My brother is Michael, and we have 2 cousins also named Michael. At big family gatherings we have resolved the confusion, my calling the youngest Mikey, the oldest Michael and my brother is just Mike. We had an uncle who passed away that we all loved named Daniel, so the next generation is showing that. I have two great nephews with middle names Daniel. I was named Sandra, for an aunt that passed away before I was born. I don’t think anyone confuses me with her, though. Families tend to recycle names, it’s a given. If your sister picks out a name for her kid, that does not mean it is off the table for you as well. A good name is a good name and two cousins, or the children of two friends can have the same first name without a problem. It’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal.
Post # 11
Surprised to see so many nevers.
FWIW, I voted pregnant and know the sex, because I’d be pissed (I think justifiably), if I announced the name and somebody in my circle who was further along in her pregnancy used it first. But that may have a lot to do with the fact that the names I like aren’t super popular, so it most likely wouldn’t be a coincidence that she used it too.
Post # 12
I’ve kind of claimed one of our favorite names. When my SIL was pregnant with a girl, I was really afraid that she would take our name. Since they’ve had their kids before us, all of the family names are taken from my side. I don’t know if we’ll do any on my husband’s side, but we’re more likely going to use our own names since everyone else took ours.
Post # 13
No such thing as stealing. Everyone who knows me knows if I ever have a baby girl what her name is going to be. I have said that for over 10 plus years. It was my grandmothers name. I don’t care if others use that name or not, not that they really would it is not a very common name now days.
Though we are chosing not to say what our baby boy name is going to be until he is born.
Post # 14
@sailor: I completely agree with you. I can understand the democracy behind thinking that nothing is stealing, and I generally do not subscribe to the ‘my child is a speshul snowflake’ mentality. However, as a twin, I have firmly held beliefs regarding identities and boundaries, and it would seriously bother me if someone in my close circle used the names we were thinking about for our children. That being said, I completely recognize that coincidences happen, but like you, we’re planning to use names that are not common so it is unlikely that anyone we know would just happen to use these names. If we were using something popular or a family name, then I don’t feel like anyone can really claim it. My sister and SIL and I actually talk about baby names fairly casually so we mostly know what the others like and respectfully stay away (not TTC yet).
Post # 15
I don’t think you can “claim” a name, per se, but if you are pregnant, know the sex, and annouce what the name is, I do think it’s a little mean for someone in the same circle who is further along to choose it- assuming, of course, that is where they got the idea. If they were already planning on using that name before it was ‘claimed’, I don’t think they should have to forfeit it.
What I don’t think is fair is for someone who is not even pregnant to claim a name, and then get mad if someone else uses it. At that point, who even knows if the situation will even come to fruition, and for a name to be forever off limits to something that might not even happen just seems wrong.
Also, I think in situations where you are choosing extremely popular names or naming after someone close to you- all bets are off. There are no claims on those. I knew of a situation where two sisters each wanted to name their baby girl after their grandma. Whoever got the baby girl first gets the name, IMO, no matter who ‘called it’.
Post # 16
I don’t think you can claim a name. I just think that you can hope that the friends and family closest to you have the courtesy not to intentionally use a name they know you wanted to use. But if there’s a name someone else has their heart set on, they have just as much a right to it as anyone else.