Post # 16
Member
2467 posts
Buzzing bee
Hugs and hugs and hugs.
I belong to the small percentage of women who had beautiful live births after multiple losses, and I truly do know what your situation is like.
Yes, your feelings are normal.
A group of us were getting together for coffee one day and I was heading through the dining room toward my friend’s patio, and on the dining room table? Her first box of prenatal vitamins. I thought I’d die…..but I knew how happy SHE was, so I knew I HAD to put on “the face”. And I did.
I honestly couldn’t come unhinged every time I had a loss, it was actually making me worse, so I finally convinced myself that I’d never give up, until through some way, I’d become a mom. And I did, twice.
My every good thought is with you. I light candles and pray all the time for women in your situation.
Post # 17
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
I feel your pain 100%. It’s OK to feel how you feel. Your friend probably has no clue what it’s like to watch other people on the journey you want to be on.
TTC has been one of the most frustrating, rollercoaster-like experiences of my life, and I have a colorful past, so that’s saying a lot. Late 2015 and until basically this year I have avoided friends and acquaintances with babies like the plague. Not because I care about them any less, but because it hurt so much to have it right in front of my face when it just wasn’t happening for me.
I am finally coming around, but honestly, I still don’t seek out friends with kids. Still not pregnant (hoping this is my month), but at least for me, it has gotten a bit easier. I think I just burned myself out from the stress. Now I am taking it one day at a time. I don’t troll TTC forums any more. If I weren’t struggling with irregular cycles, I wouldn’t even be taking my BBT.
Hugs & good luck.
Post # 18
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
achilles : mine were screwy after M/c too. I had to do the progesterone withdrawal challenge in order to cycle normally again to take the next round of femara. Don’t be afraid to call the doctor and tell them “things aren’t back to normal, can you do something about this” in these cases you have to be your own best advocate
Post # 19
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
hugs…after 14 months of trying and 2 chemicals, I get it. I used to be outgoing, but now I can’t hang out with my group of 6 girlfriends because they all have kids and talk about them constantly. My SIL is prego and my boss’ daughter just had her 2nd baby…after getting knocked up on first month trying. This is why this board exists so we can be friends. 🙂
Post # 20
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
ColoradoGirl : Thank you. I saw that you are waiting to test. Good luck! Still no period over here. 🙁 I got a positive opk and thought I had ovulated, but my temps went back down so idk what that was about.
MrsBG : I did reach out to my doctor actually and she wanted me to come in to discuss “kickstarting” my cycle. It sounded like they wanted to give me progesterone to induce a bleed, but I didn’t want to take hormones at the time and said no. It’s now 3 weeks later and I may be desperate enough to do it. Just deciding if I wait it out or take the progesterone. Not sure what to do..:/ I got off the bcp last May and cycles were irregular from the get go.
I think I hit rock bottom tonight. Just had a good cry after I saw another pregnancy post on instagram. I’m just so sick of waiting around! It’s been 9 weeks since mc HCG hit 0 and still no period.
Post # 21
Member
41 posts
Newbee
This is a very timely post for me. I miscarried last week after trying for a year and a half. I was 2 days away from 12 weeks when I miscarried so I had mentally started to feel relief that things were going well.
After leaving the hospital and walking around during the daytime, all I saw were babies, which just reminds of what I don’t have.
Hope to start the journey again soon. Lots of hugs to everyone. Our time will come. ❤
Post # 22
Member
8247 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
tm6173 : It’s 100% normal to be jealous so don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your feelings. As long as you don’t ACT on that jealous and start being bitchy to every pregnant woman you see it’s no one else’s business if you’re jealous. I was in fertility treatment when a good friend got pregnant on her second month of trying – and I was genuinely thrilled for her, but I still went home and cried to my husband about how unfair it was that other people could get pregnant so easily. She started trying a year after I did and still birthed a child before I even got pregnant. Happiness and jealous are not mutually exclusive feelings.
Post # 23
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
Hell-0hell-0 : I’m so sorry for your loss! 🙁 I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. I’ll be thinking of you and praying. I’m glad this post could be of some comfort and let you know that you are not alone right now.
LilliV : Thank you! Really appreciate your kind words and 100% agree that I can feel jealous of someone and happy for them at the same time. Thank you so much.
Post # 24
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee
I can empathise with you, OP. I am currently recovering from emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy after my fallopian tube ruptured – now I am left with only one tube. I still have both ovaries thankfully.
I do not feel jealous of other people being or getting pregnant per se, but I feel jealous and annoyed about the stress and trauma my husband and I have had to go through when it appears so ‘easy’ for many other couples … Also the additional stress and worry we will go through when we TTC again will be another massive hurdle. Pregnancy is stressful enough in the first trimester especially, even before you factor in previous losses and complications etc. So I get where you are coming from 🙂
Post # 25
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
PorcelainBelle : I’m sorry that happened to you! I appreciate your positive attitude even after losing a tube. 🙁 I wish the best for you!
Post # 26
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
tm6173 : your feelings are SO natural and do not make you a bad person. Take care of yourself and do what you need to to stay healthy emotionally.
Post # 27
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
I so get this!
An acquaintance of mine got pregnant with her Dear Daughter after a weekend of winery/brewerytouring. They were barely trying, and didn’t expect it to happen so soon. As soon as she was cleared after her Dear Daughter was born, she went on Mirena. Come to find out, she’s pregnant again. She went into the doctors thinking maybe 5 weeks? She was 15 weeks along, and is now already over halfway there. Insult to injury is that she is also the mom who constantly snapchats hiding in the bathroom drinking a beer or wine, hiding from her children (her husband has a DS from a previous relationship). I don’t doubt that she loves them, but I know her getting pregnant again was NOT in their plan and a total shock. They even waited another several weeks to tell their family while they wrapped their heads around it.
Post # 28
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
Sorry to add to this after so long, but I had to update. It’s almost comical because I just found out my sil found out today that she is pregnant! Add another one to the list. Unreal. Obviously incredibly happy for her, but selfishly jealous too. But I get a niece or nephew which is super exciting! Now I just need to give the baby a cousin. 🙂
Post # 29
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee
I get so annoyed since we are newlyweds and getting the “when are you gonna have a baby?” question all the time because only close friends and family know what happened with the ectopic. It’s none of their business when we plan to have kids damn it 😑 I wish they would shut up lol
Post # 30
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
PorcelainBelle : I get it! What makes everyone think it’s their business? And so awkward. Sometimes I just want to blurt out, “well we actually were already pg. but lost it, any other questions?” If people only knew… I’ll never again be the person who asks someone that.
I’m sorry about your ectopic. 🙁 that’s tough.
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