(Closed) Clever entree selection on RSVP not so clever

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you know to write your initials if it said "please initial an entree choice for each guest?"

    Yes, I can read.

    Nope, it sounds confusing.

  • Post # 33
    Member
    1356 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    yeah, I did this too, and very few guests (could count on 2 hands) initialed.

    Especially annoying with bridal party, where their guests are seated separately, and I don’t know who wants what. Many irritating phone calls!

    Post # 34
    Member
    463 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    View original reply
    @retroindigo:  we did individual place cards at every seat and placed a coloured circle sticker on the back of it to indicate choice.  so red circle meant beef, blue for fish and green for vegetarian.  the stickers just came from staples.

    Post # 35
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We asked people to initial, but most didn’t.  We just did our best to guess who wanted which entree, and figured they could always switch once they were served. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee

    This is the entire RSVP for my wedding.  We wanted to make it very clear how many guests were actually invited and that we want each guest’s initials next to their entree choice: 

    RSVP

    M________________________________________

     

    ____ out of ____ guest(s) will attend.

     

    Please write each guest’s initials next to his or her entrée choice:

     

    _________Chicken    _________Beef    _________Pasta

     

    Please indicate any food allergies or other needs on the back of this card.

    Kindly respond by the eighth of June

     

     

    We put the directions in BOLD and we put “initials” in italic as well… Hope it works!

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    1936 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I know. I did this too. There’s nothing wrong with your logic but people simply don’t read!! They see a blank line and just put a check mark… very frustrating…

    Post # 37
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee

    I found this forum because I have an invitation now and I did not know what to do.  I of course thought I should just do what it says..put three sets of initials on the choices, since three of us are on the invitation and going.  Then I wondered if I would mess that up.  Should I put the whole first name so they actually know who it is?  After all, they would have to figure out from the initials instead of making it easy.  They don’t even know my son’s last name.  Haha!  This is what goes through people’s minds I am sure. Then I wondered if it has to all be the same meal choice or if we are to indicate each person’s.  Would I be greedy to think they would make three different ones?  Ugh.  So okay, now I will put each person’s initials next to that person’s meal choice.  Just like I thought I should before my mind took over 🙂   But yes, it is confusing. Especially since the boxes are not initial size but only check mark size. And the RSVP sent back has no indication who it is from.  Just seems like a dumb way to RSVP to me, but what do I know right?

     

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  loveliestdays.
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  loveliestdays.
    Post # 38
    Member
    929 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    i’m so confused by this and i’ve seen it several times on the bee and i’m finally just going to ask. Why on earth would i have to pick what i want to eat before the wedding? We’re having 3 different kinds chicken, 2 different kinds of fish, 2 vegitarian options, 2 different kinds of beef, and 2 different kinds of pasta all with sides. If i asked my guests what they wanted to eat before the wedding I wouldn’t have enough room on the RSVP card and i would never know what kind of meal they wanted just my checking a meet choice. Can you just give them the menu at their table? What if a guest wants fish that day but when she filled out her card she was in a chicken mood? 

    Post # 39
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    View original reply
    daniellemc:  I think it depends on the venue. I’m not sure about other places, but my venue wants to know how many of each dish to make so that its prepared on time. Dinner is scheduled to start at 6, and if they start taking orders at 6, it will take them forever to make 200 different dishes based on what everyone wants. There wouldn’t be enough staff to make all of those dishes in a timely manner, and since we told them dinner will start at 6, they’re most likely expecting to be served right around that time. Also, our venue wants to know specifically who wants what so that way they know what to bring out per table (ex. table 8 has 3 fish, 2 beef, and 3 chicken). If you’re going with this style, it just makes things run smoother.

    I do agree with your point about what if they picked fish at first but are in a chicken mood that day? Personally, I always thought the same thing. I don’t know what I’ll be hungry for months in advance haha. But I’ve also been to weddings where its buffet style and that way they choose what they want to eat that day. 

    It didn’t take up much room on our RSVP cards to include the meal options, but that’s all dependent on what else is included on there/how it’s styled. Also, our venue did tell us that if a few people (maybe 10 at the most) decided that they wanted to change their mind about their meal choice, they will be able to accommodate. It just gets more time consuming if everyone orders that day. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    View original reply
    retroindigo:  We did the same thing and had the same issue. I just don’t think most guests actually read the RSVP that carefully and just do things the way they’ve always done them. It wasn’t a huge deal for us – if it was a couple and they each selected a different entree (but didn’t initial), I just assigned a random entree to each person. If it’s wrong at the reception, they can switch.

    I’d say we probably had 10-15% of guests actually initial their entree choice, and most were our friends who probably haven’t been to many weddings and were more likely to read it carefully.

    Post # 41
    Member
    929 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    Buzzy-little-bee:  oooooooohk I guess that makes sense. Thanks!!!

    Post # 42
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    yeah I’ve learned a lot of guests are completely lazy, and many times won’t read instructions :/ 

    Post # 43
    Member
    2195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I feel like I’m one of those easily confused people and I understood what you wanted. People just rush through things I think.

    Post # 44
    Member
    2730 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    daniellemc:  Yeah, it’s a venue thing. I don’t care of the whole “choose what you’ll want to eat a month in advance” but some venues require it. Mine, fortunately allows guests to choose the day of. I could never afford all the choices you’re having at your wedding though so when it’s the strict “Chicken or Beef” it’s a lot easier to choose beforehand.

    Post # 45
    Member
    929 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    ChrissyMary9515:  None of the venues i visited required that and i’ve never been to a wedding that had that on the RSVP. I was always so curious to see what it was about. I always thought that when i saw that they were asking because the bride and groom were cooking and wanted to know what to buy….. All of our dinner options were built into the price of the venue. It’s like that at  most places where i’m from. But thatnks for more clarification!! 🙂 

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