Post # 1
Hello all, this isn’t wedding related but I see a lot of pet posts on here so hopefully someone can help. My boyfriend’s mom gave us a little black kitten about a week ago. This is the first cat I’ve ever owned and neither of us are really cat people (or indoor pet people for that matter).
We got rid of the fleas, bought it some food and toys, and set up its litter box in a spare bedroom. When we first got it, it was kinda wild and ran from us but now it is really affectionate and is constantly wanting to be petted.
I never realized that cats were so friendly and this one seems to be more like a dog than a cat. it is constantly under my feet and jumps up on the furniture to play or sleep next to us while we are watching TV. I am really getting attached to the little kitty and she seems to be happy.
However, we have one issue. I am not a fan of pets sleeping in the bed and the last few nights, she has tried to climb into bed with us. We have closed the door to the bedroom to keep her out and she literally spends all night meowing at the door wanting to come back in! From my research on the internet, I guess we should have kept the bedroom off limits from the beginning so she didnt think it was a part of her territory. Is there anything we can do to get her to sleep somewhere else at night. I know it must stress her out to be away from us, and it is irritating to listen to her all night, but I really don’t want it to sleep in the bed with us either. Is this just a stage the kittens go through or will it always try to sleep in the bed with us?
Post # 2
chicken : dh and i live in a tiny apartment, so we can’t really keep our kitty out of our bedroom. i grew up with cats and i’m definitely a cat person. in my experience if a cat wants to sleep with you they probably always will. our kitty likes to sit next to us on the couch and hang around us whenver he’s awake, but he has his own sleeping spots (mostly under our bed or on a chair). my childhood cat always wanted to be in bed with me to sleep. she was just more cuddly and even if you sat down for like 30 seconds she’d jump on your lap.
it’s great that you have a super interactive and lovey kitty! i think lots of people assume that cats are super independent and not needy, honestly, when people have cats who don’t care at all where they are and don’t initiate contact it’s usually because they didn’t give them enough attention when they were young. even though cats don’t need daily walks they’re still needy in their own way. if you do decide to make the bedroom off-limits you should give your kitty his/her own space. either lock it in the guest room (where its food/water/litter is) or make the basement a kitty zone with plenty of toys, litter, food, etc. eventually your kitty will get used to the fact that nighttime = room time.
if you do this and decide not to sleep with the kitty (which is fine, btw), make sure you continue other points of contact. still hold and cuddle your kitten and definitely play with him/her in an interactive way! throw balls and toys, play with string with him/her, etc. this will result in a fun cat who is super interactive an attentive.
Post # 3
Our two boys sleep on the bed with us. When we got the first one I said no cats on the bed! But he was so cute and happy to curl up at our feet and sleep. I just couldn’t say no. Now it feels weird without them. My parents’ cats sleep elsewhere in the house at night. They just never wanted to be on the bed with them. That said, every once and awhile one of them will want to cuddle up close at night or in the morning.
I don’t really think you can keep a room off limits from a cat like that. I mean you could, but it’s her home too. She probably likes to snuggle up on your bed while you’re gone because it smells like you guys and she misses you.
I would either deal with the crying until she gets the hint or just let her come on the bed. The crying breaks my heart every time. Hence why I have a fluffy little monster curled up on my bed with us right now!
Post # 4
Congrats on your new kitten! And for becoming cat people because you cat sounds awesome! Set your boundaries now before he gets used to sleeping with you. I trained my first cat to sleep curled up next to me! He has since passed but my other two cats are pretty uninterested in sleeping with me when I want them to. I will wake up with them at my feet and sometimes they will come snuggle in the morning and it’s the cutest! Honestly you either have to kick him out at night and keep that door closed for the next 10-20 years, or change your mind and let him in. If you do decide to kick him out forever, you could invest in a bed warmer for him and make a spot that is for his sleeping. He also could benefit from a cat tree (if you have room).
Post # 5
Try setting up a bed area somewhere and laying next to it and see if the cat will take to that. Put down blankets and get a small bed for her. I haven’t tried it but it might help. Also I’m wondering if she is still young maybe she is clingy beacuse it’s comforting and the sound of a heartbeat is really comforting for hem. They make stuffed animals I don’t know what they are called but they are cuddle toys for kittens and puppies and they have heartbeats. My friend who fosters kittens uses them for her kittens she bottle feeds and don’t have a momma cat to soothe them.
Post # 6
chicken : Kittens need a lot of love and TLC, so it’s great that you are warming up to her in general. I’m sure your boyfriend’s Mum had the best of intentions but it is a massive risk to give someone a pet as a surprise!!
As PPs have said, it is likely that she will always want to sleep on the bed if she’s interested in it now. We’ve had a bunch of cats and some were super affectionate and others extremely independent, but all of them wanted on the bed any chance that they could. To prevent it, you will either need to keep her shut in a separate room or keep your bedroom door shut at night. So long as she has food, water, a litter tray, toys for entertainment, and a cosy spot to snuggle up in, she’ll be fine and get used to it. When we had trouble settling our little one (who couldn’t sleep with us because she was too enthusiastic about 4am cuddles, bless her!), I’d make her a little tent with blankets and cushions on the couch that she could snuggle into. Cats love cosy spaces and it will help keep her warm while she’s so little.
Where did the kitten come from? If she hasn’t come from a rescue shelter then it’s really important that she sees a vet to get her vaccinations and is spayed. Do you know if that has already happened? It’s super important that she doesn’t go outside at all until you know for sure whether or not she’s been spayed.
Post # 7
It’s definitely a cat thing to want to sleep next to you, I would suggest training her to sleep in the spots of the bed you don’t mind sharing.
My cat used to do the same thing… Howl all night long if I didn’t let her sleep with me or accidentally closed her out of the room, so when I finally started letting her every night I would essentially just lightly push her off the bed if she wasn’t where I was comfortable with her. She ended up getting the point and now she sleeps anywhere to my right (I put up a wall of pillows and she just settles down on one). As she gets older it’ll get easier, but she’s definitely trainable. Good luck!
Post # 8
My cats are 8 and 7 and still haven’t outgrown wanting to sleep on our bed at night! They would sit outside our door and meow and claw at it all the time. We now lock them up in our kitchen/sitting room at night (they have access to their food/litter box) so they can’t claw our bedroom door. We also bought them cat beds that they love sleeping in, esp the covered ones. So now they happily retire to their own beds at night.
Post # 9
My cats sleep in the bed with me most nights. Sometimes I can’t deal with it though and will shut them out. When I do this, the one cat will literally get on his hind legs and knock on the door with his upper arms. Usually lasts about 2 min and then he gives up. It’s kinda amusing. The other cat is calmer but we can hear her chirping up a storm outside periodically through the night.
I’m moving in with my fiance in a couple weeks and he has said he doesnt want the cats to sleep in the bed with us. I’m guessing this will last about one night lol and then he’ll break.
Anyway not sure what to advise you but good luck! I think if you stick to it eventually the cat might accept it? Or maybe not, muwahahhaa.
Post # 10
Try setting up a cat bed in your bedroom. It sounds like she has some separation anxiety, and you don’t want her in your bed with you, so this is a middle ground. Make sure the cat bed is soft and in a nice place, like a corner, where she doesn’t feel exposed. Then when she gets in bed with you, you can gently move her back to her own bed.
If you insist on keeping her out of the entire room, I highly suggest getting another cat so she’ll have a friend.
Post # 11
You can train a cat to not sleep with you, though you might go through a few sleepless nights in the process.
First, if you shut her out of the bedroom, never open the door when she’s howling. This is just positive reinforcement. Thus, the sleepless nights. She might cry for a few, but she’ll eventually figure out that she’s not going to be let in no matter how much she cries.
In our apartment we also use pressurized cans of motion activated air, called Ssscat. It’s totally harmless – a can of air with a battery operated top. When something passes by the can, it lets out a squirt of air, similar to a hiss. Cats hate them. (Fair warning, at 2am they’re pretty terrifying for humans too.) We put two cans outside our bedroom door, facing each other. This keeps our cat back from the door so she can’t scratch. She can still howl, but usually it’s just a whine or two and she gives up. With time, she has gotten so familiar with the cans, we don’t even turn them on anymore. We just put them up and she leaves us alone.
As other posters said, make sure your kitten has a safe and cozy place to sleep without you in the night, so she feels comfortable sleeping solo.
That being said, sleeping with a cat is fun and heartwarming. We kick our cat out and put up the cans when she gets the 2am crazies, but when she snuggles in for the night, or I wake up with her tucked into my arms, it’s pretty special.
Good luck with the new kitten! You’re in for a world of weird amazingness.
Post # 12
chicken : our kitty had to stay in our room until we got him a brother. Now he happily sleeps in the livingroom with his brother baby cat
Post # 13
Our cat did the samething, except when she slet with us she also would attack our feet and hands and my hair while I was trying to sleep. We eventaully decided to shut her out at night so we could get some sleep. It did take a few weeks for her to get the hint, but she is much better about crying at night now. She usually doesnt make any noise until about 5 or 6am. Normally during the week we are up by 6 anyway so its not as big of a deal. If you dont want your cat to sleep with you, it is possible to shut them out. You will just have to listen to some crying at the door for a few days.
Post # 14
feeshpup : Yes! A playmate seriously helps with the clinginess!
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
My 14 year old did all her ‘proweling’ at night when she was a kittne and never even noticed that she was shut out of the bedroom.
My 4 year old however sounds like your kitten. She would cry and scratch at the door for upwards of an HOUR for the first few months that we had her. The few times we broke composure and allowed her in she would do everything in her power to wake up up and be a general annoyance, so we quickly learned having her in the bedroom was a no-go. She eventually grew out of crying at the door. Though I will say that at age three she spent the weekend at my friend’s house one time and she scratched and cried at the door like she was that little kitten all over again…it was almost like her little brain was thinking “well this didn’t work with Mommy and Daddy, maybe this wil work with Auntie and Uncle”.
My point is to stay strong. she WILL grow out of it! Just keep your nerve and don’t give in. Part of the reason I believe it took MONTHS and not just WEEKS for us to train our kitty is we kept breaking down and letting her in.
Good luck 🙂