- 3 months ago
long story as short as possible
Mom’s bio dad left the picture when she was two years old. Straight up abandoned the whole scene and she is an only child. Irrelevant caveat… I don’t speak with my maternal grandmother or any blood relatives on that side of the family. That’s a whole different mess.
Mom made us swear we never ever ever look for this guy. Didn’t even tell us his name until I needed it for an in-depth background check… needed all names my parents have ever gone by.
This ass was contacted the day I was born to be told he was a grandfather. He said he wanted nothing to do with us still.
My dad’s (paternal and maternal) side of the family is completely traced back 6+ generations to Germany. No way there’s gonna be big secrets there.
Sister does 23andme and what do you know, some first cousin pops up. Yikes. Search relatives using the last name Mom was born with and there’s two people that show up, also related to our “first cousin”.
We find her Facebook page… it’s private except for some profile pictures, but we look to see who interacts with her… more people with that same last name. Clicks on one who just so happens to have our “first cousin” and 4 OTHER PEOPLE ARE LISTED AS SIBLINGS. Of course, I’m assuming that they have the same parents, but 3 go by that last name online.
Y’all following? The guy who fathered my mom ran off and started a family WITH 6 KIDS. I’m suspecting our “first cousin” is actually our “half-aunt” and she comes with 5 other half-aunts and uncles and probably lots of kids. Based on the profiles I could see, they are within a few years younger than my mom.
Mom isn’t exactly known to handle this kind of news well and she’s currently in counseling with my dad for marriage issues (no idea what… she loves keeping secrets and burdens herself with them). Based on her lifestyle and the way she interacts with the world, we strongly believe she has depression but she refuses to think that. It’s difficult.
”First cousin lady” messaged us and “can’t wait to see how we are related <3”
I’m interested in getting the facts straight with her… “your father fathered one of my parents and is my grandfather” and see how she reacts. I want to be as anonymous as possible so she doesn’t go looking for my family and making a big mess.
Is it right for my sister and I to know about this but keep it from my mom?
What would you do?