(Closed) Close Family Engagements… Do not want to steal anyone's thunder

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
27 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Walt Paraiso, Esterillos, Costa Rica

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toripink15:  first off, that’s really tough when family is unreasonable. But that’s life and we have to deal with it, right? i’m going to be juggling my mother who has major sensitivities when it comes to my dad/step-mom. 

Reading through the other replies, I have to agree that sometimes what LOOKS like doing something to placate the crazies is really for your own peace/enjoyment. It really would depend on your (and your BF’s!) level of independence. 

We are in a family with close engagements/weddings as well. Thankfully everyone is pretty chill about it. My Fiance and I got engaged last Valentine’s day which was also near our dating anniversary. Future Brother-In-Law and his long-time (8 years) Girlfriend announced they had finally set a date for their wedding/become officially engaged just 3 weeks later. The date of their announcement was significant to them as well and would be exactly a year to their wedding. I didn’t mind in the least. Future Sister-In-Law and I aren’t that close because I had just moved here a few months before and we’ve got a language barrier, though I’ve been a bit disappointed that parallel wedding planning hasn’t brought us closer.

It took us a long time to set our date because we were juggling several scheduling issues, including Costa Rica’s crazy rainy season and my sister’s (also MOH) first year of medical school. Well, it turns out we’ll be getting married a little more than a month after the Future Brother-In-Law & Future Sister-In-Law, the week after Easter (which is huge here in CR), on my 30th birthday, the day before my dad’s birthday! It was the only day that worked with weather and breaks for everyone from my side to travel so we’re just doing it! 

hope you can work something out so that you can enjoy the thrills of your engagement/wedding as much as possible! 

Post # 33
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

You can get engaged whenever you want!! And have your wedding whenever you want!!! My only piece of advce is to have a good line of communication with her to talk about dates and such so there isn’t any “date drama” . That way, you will know what dates she wants/has booked and she can find out yours, and you can coordinate so everything goes seamlessly 🙂 

I’m also in a close wedding situation, 2 weeks between my wedding and his family members. Theres some drama I won’t lie, and I wish they would have communicated with us about dates so no one would step on anyones toes, but we just have to move on from that!!! So if possible, just talk to them so there are no issues 🙂

Post # 34
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think the only way to steal someone’s thunder is to make an announcement at their wedding, engagment party, etc.  As in standing up and saying OH, DH and I are expecting.  Do before or after. 

Post # 36
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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toripink15:  My fiance sister and we got engaged on the same day! haha. I dont think there is a timeline or anything

Post # 37
203 posts
Helper bee

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toripink15:  Yay, well done you ! So long as you don’t  pick  the same actual  wedding  day,   or as a pp has said, make some sort of large personal announcement on their  day , I dont think you need give it  a second thought .

Rise above it my dear, rise above it as you have already started to  do !

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