(Closed) Close friend did not acknowledge wedding anniversary

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

I don’t think I’ve ever congratulated someone on their anniversary, even my closest friends… I have enough trouble remembering my own, other people’s aren’t even on my radar, even if they post something online about it. I’d probably think it was sweet, but keep scrolling. Anniversaries are important to the people in the relationship, nobody else. I couldn’t for the life of me tell you who did and didn’t congratulate us on our last anniversary.

I’m not a bad friend, it’s just not something I even think about. Your friend is probably the same, I wouldn’t bother dwelling on this, I very much doubt there was any meaning in it.

Post # 3
1188 posts
Bumble bee

Agree with this. I never congratulate people for their anniversary. I may “like” the post but it depends. I wouldn’t gauge a friendship based on whether someone cared about my anniversary. kittycatcat :  

Post # 4
5184 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’ve never congratulated someone on their wedding anniversary, in my opinion that is something the couple celebrate not their friends and family. 

Post # 5
577 posts
Busy bee

Is this post for real? Seriously… no one needs to acknowledge your anniversary except for your SO. Stop posting things on social media to get validation. 

Post # 6
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

sassyshid07 :  firstly, it’s social media.  There’s a good chance your friend didn’t even see your post.

Secondly, it’s not typical for people outside of a relationship to celebrate the anniversary. 

Post # 7
3992 posts
Honey bee

The only time I greet friends are Christmas, Birthdays (personalized and individual messaging) and Mother’s Day. Actually, Christmas and Mother’s Day, I send them a group message greeting. For me, Anniversaries and Valentine’s Day , are only for the couple themselves to acknowledge with each other.

sassyshid07 :  

Post # 8
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

The only anniversary I made a big deal of that wasn’t my own was my parents 50th anniversary.  If one of my friends made an anniversary post on fb then I might like it.  None of my friends or family wished us a happy anniversary except for my mom, who celebrates everything. 

Post # 9
8241 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Yeah, I keep a note in my diary to remember to congratulate my friends on their anniversary but I don’t expect anyone to remember mine. That will be for me and my husband to celebrate. No one else. 

Post # 10
4398 posts
Honey bee

I have never acknowledged the anniversaries of any of my friends.  I don’t even know when most of their anniversaries are, even though I was at the weddings for about 80%.  I remember generally the month or season if I was at the wedding, but once the wedding was over I moved on with my own life.  But I have way more important shit in my life than the anniversary of a relationship that isn’t mine.

No one, including the people with nothing better in their lives to do than indulge your need for attention with emojis, actually cares about your anniversary except for the people in the anniversary.  Pay more attention to the person who actually shares the anniversary with you, less attention to whether other people sent you emojis for having a party a year ago.

Post # 11
888 posts
Busy bee

I don’t congratulate anyone on their wedding anniversary except my parents and maybe my sister. I can barely remember people’s birthdays! Add anniversaries to the never ending list of things to remember in my brain and I just might combust. 

Post # 12
1575 posts
Bumble bee

I’d never congratulated anyone on their anniversary. A relatively new friend texted me to wish me a happy anniversary recently and I was pretty taken aback, thought it was very sweet and I thanked her. I just don’t think your friend thought of it.

Post # 13
637 posts
Busy bee

sassyshid07 :  

You do no know that a person’s interactions with your posts on social media says about absolutely nothing about their feelings and intentions towards you and relationship with you, right?

Social media is about public attention and validation, nothing more, and you should not be basing the strength of your friendships on it. Not to mention, people have different levels of engagement with social media. I have Facebook but I rarely post and I don’t go on the newsfeed at all. The only way I’d know about news shared on there was if I happened to go to a friend’s individual page or if someone happened to tell me or message/text me about it.Luckily for me, my friendships are not based on my social media interaction.

I agree with the PPs that anniversaries rarely matter to anyone outside of the couple themselves. When I was married to my ex-husband, I found it really weird that his family used to congratulate each other on their wedding anniversaries and give each other cards (we got a card from his parents on our anniversary every year we were married). My family has never done that or even considered doing that.

You can’t take these things personally. Focus on enjoying your anniversary with your husband.

If I were you, I’d ask yourself why you feel the need for external validation of your relationship.

Post # 14
7419 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ll take “artificial problems created by insecurity and social media” for $400, please, Alex.

Post # 15
13544 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re being crazy.

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