(Closed) canceled post, duplicated

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sorry you’re having such sad responses to your save the dates, but I don’t think responses to save the dates are actually the norm. At least, I’ve never heard of one having to reply to an STD.

Post # 4
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yeah, I’ve never responded to a Save the Date…

Post # 5
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i don’t think anyone really ‘replied’ to our save-the-date.

maybe the occasional ‘hey, i got your card in the mail; love it!’


but we didn’t know who was coming/not coming until we sent out our invitations. 

Post # 6
9092 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Are you sure you didn’t send RSVPS? they’re different than Save the Dates.

ETA: What is “Super cheap” tickets to you? “Super cheap” is 100 bucks. But not everyone can swing 100 bucks, especially someone on unemployment.

Post # 7
2755 posts
Sugar bee

Save the dates are meant to just be a general head’s up for people. An invitation to the event begs a response; a save the date does not.

Post # 8
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t know what kind of response people have to give in save the date. Some of the things like that couple asking who is coming, I wouldn’t respond to them.

As for the other things, I think you need to get some perspective. Your comments are incredible insensitive, he isn’t working and he should not be spending moneys on extra. Furthermore Peoples life doesn’t revolved around your wedding. Get your expectations in line, and remember to look at the BIG PICTURE. Sulk if you need to, then let it go so you enjoy your wedding planning and wedding. Good luck!

Post # 9
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

But honey…it’s a destination wedding and the economy sucks….and when you plan a destination wedding, you make some sacrifices and allowances regarding guest list and attendance, because for you, the location is paramount….and that is wonderful.  You will have a lovely wedding with all of the people who were supposed to be there in attendance, I promise. 

In times like these, everyone has got to keep their eye on the bottom line, and personally, it would take some pretty desirable circumstances to inspire me to use money allocated to our vacation fund for a destination wedding, because we get ONE vacation a year, I would be hard pressed to put that relaxing retreat with Mr. 99 on the back burner to have my time and attention dictated by a bride & groom.

You just wait until you send your invitations, that’s when the responses will come, and you’ll be so excited and surprised by the people that can make it, and maybe a little sad by the ones that cannot, but I cannot stress enough, their declining to attend is no reflection on their desire to be there, but an inability to make the trek either financially or logistically.

It’ll get better!

Post # 10
2177 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MissCalifornia:  Exacty.  I’ve never responded to a STD, unless it was someone I see on a regular basis, in which my response was a “I got your card, so excited for the big day!” in an in-person conversation.

Post # 12
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@TwoCityBride:  +1!


Whats in his bank account (unemployed or not) isn’t really any of your business. I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time but most of us, like it or not, have had to realize that our wedding isn’t as important to others as you think it is. I think you need to focus on the positive instead of the negative.

Post # 13
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Nona99:  +1

Post # 15
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@mousewife:  Do you all of his inner financial workings. If I was unemployed even with my savings in the bank I wouldn’t be spending money on non essentials like traveling for a wedding.

Post # 16
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mousewife:  Wait your friend gets 8000 USD per month?!?! If that’s so that’s insane lol. I can’t believe anyone is employed.


But if it’s more of a lump sum, I can see not being able to make it work. I’m unemployed right now and I have to decline a lot of things because my future is so uncertain. Not only is money uncertain, but I also don’t book trips right now because if I get a job, I don’t want to say, “Hey, I’m taking off two days almost immediately for a wedding.”


And it actually is really awful declining activities because I’m poor so I feel for your friend. Anyway, you’ll still get married that day, right?? That’s all that matters!


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