(Closed) Close to 1 year with the ring

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This didn’t happen to me, but I do have some advice. You need to talk to your dude and perhaps lay out a timeline. Explain that you feel like one year is more than enough time to have a ring around waiting to propose, and you’re starting to feel a little upset about it. See what he says.

Post # 4
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This happened to my Future Sister-In-Law.  He had it for about a year and she knew.  She got so fed up she started looking for apartments to move out (without his knowledge).  Then he proposed when she least expected.  They are very happily married now 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ya…this is not cool. Is he playing some kind of game here?? You really need to talk to him about this. Why would he even purchase the ring at all if he still needed a year to think about it?? I would be offended and hurt too. 

Post # 6
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Guys are so clueless sometimes!!! Do they really not get how this would make a woman feel??

Post # 7
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

@MissGreyhound:  My SO has had a ring for me for over a year now, and I know I will receive it in 2 weeks, but he would be happy to wait even longer because he doesn’t feel that he is secure in his job. I feel your pain. Do you have a walk date? My SO knew that I wasn’t going to wait for years for this ring, and he knew the deadline was July. Kinda harsh but I felt that I would go nuts if I didn’t set that and state it.  

Post # 8
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m confused, why wouldn’t he ask if he already had the ring?  How long have yall been together? And why did he even tell you he got the ring? 

Post # 9
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

My SO & I will probably have the ring in the house for close to a year….maybe like 9 months BUT we have planned this all along. We’re waiting until I graduate to get engaged. I agree with a PP, have you guys discussed a timeline? If it wasn’t a part of our plan then it would drive me nuts if I was waiting that long!

Post # 10
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

Is he a guy who wants it to be a surprise?! Maybe he is (stupidly!!) thinking you will forget about it!! Do you mention getting engaged a lot? If so I’d suggest doing the shut it up pact! If you already don’t mention it, maybe just talk like its never going to happen! I lope it comes soon for you, he obviously wants to do it as he has the ring, he’s just getting hung up on the ‘how’

good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MissGreyhound:  just wanted to let you know you’re not the only one. my guy will have had the ring in his posession for a full year at the end of Feb. (I even know where it is – NOT hidden on his bed side table). 

Our situation is a bit different with essentially a crazy stalker (I’m not getting into it again- but I have posted about it in past if you want to hear the story). 

 

Either way, you’re not alone 🙂

Post # 13
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

@MissGreyhound:  My co workers Fiance had hers for 2 and a half years! She must be one patient lady because I would have died if I had to wait for that long. He is a few years younger than her though and I think their families encouraged them to wait for that reason. She was 24 and he was 21 at the time of purchase. My Fiance had mine for 2 months and I knew he had it but he wanted to try and surprise me.

Post # 14
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That would not fly with me. Either he wants to marry you or not, it doesn’t take a year to propose/ 

Post # 15
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

Oh wow how awful the wait must be!! You definitely need to talk to him. Unless you or him are not stable. If he’s expecting something to change in the near future (new job, promotion, paying off debt…) he might be waiting for that moment.

But he needs to tell you that, or else you’ll go crazy.

Post # 16
Member
352 posts
Helper bee

One of my best friends is in a similar situation… he’s had a ring FOREVER and even asked her parents for their blessing on THANKSGIVING. My friend is going insane because her mom now kind of assumes they’re engaged, since her boyfriend asked her about it in NOVEMBER, and is trying to plan wedding stuff with her, but my friend doesn’t want to start planning until she is ACTUALLY engaged.

In my friend’s case we’re all kind of thinking her boyfriend is kind of “why buy the cow?”-ing it… they live together, and he wants to get married, but he’s been acting like “what’s the rush?  we live together, let’s just keep it this way.”

I agree with PP, I think that you should talk to him about a timeline so you don’t end up like tihs forever.

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