(Closed) Close to tears… so lost… please help ladies!

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 62
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Double 

Post # 63
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Your dinner.. your Day, your rules. Like you said.. she ” suggested” — and you shouldnt take her suggestion in consideration if you feel like its not what YOU want. if they cant afford it, they can always borrow from friends.. which I highly doubt they cant afford a 40 dollar meal.. 

Post # 65
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@jlc3:  I felt compelled to reply to this thread for that very reason. I don’t see why cake and punch would be called tasteless or tacky. If anything, I think it is intelligent to host a reception within your means, and not start your new life heavily in debt.

I also am confused as to having a celebration after the wedding which would require people to pay for their own plates. Maybe a better option would be to have a romantic dinner with just your future husband and yourself?

Being surrounded by loved ones on one’s special day is important. This seems like the most important prioirty to me. Perhaps having a small, intimate, and elegant dinner at home would permit for you to host without expectations from your guests.

 

Post # 66
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You should pay for them even though you will have a formal wedding and reception next year.  When you invite someone to celebrate your wedding (even though it’s just a courthouse), you still should pay for them.  If you can’t pay for them, then make the guest list smaller and pick a very nice restaturant as you want. 

Post # 67
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You should definitely go where you want to go. But personally for me, if I invited people out to celebrate my weddding, whether we go to Taco Bell or Fancy Schmancy Steakhouse, I’d pay.  This is exactly what we’re doing for ours. We are not having a reception, but just a nice sit down dinner at an upscale resturaunt. And we are footing the entire bill because they are there to celebrate with us.

Post # 68
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is still a post wedding event, which makes It a small reception, which makes you and your Fiance hosts. You should therefore host the dinner, and therefore pay, per etiquette. It doesn’t matter if it is a 300 personfive course meal or a simple cake and punch reception. Guests should not pay for their meals or beverages at a wedding.

Post # 69
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2010

View original reply
@Woodstock:  exactly… I am a military spouse and not only do you not always know when they will have to deploy.. my hubby’s last deployment was unexpected, (found out two days before he left), but the military looks at things totally different than in the civilian world.. you aren’t taken seriously as a girlfriend or even as a fiance, only as a wife or spouse! and like you said God forbid she not get the chance to marry him by waiting!! so i completely understand why they want to get married now! 🙂

Post # 70
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I gree that suggesting you postone your wedding is not the answer since you are a military wife. I do however maintain that you should reconsider having guests pay for their plate. As futuremrsfitz18 stated, you are the host.

 

Post # 71
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

If it’s a nice enough place, I doubt they will print the price on the menue. So she should have nothing to worry about.

Post # 72
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Throw a barbeque or something. It is VERY bizarre for people to pay for a meal you are hosting in honor of your wedding. Comparing this to a regular meal dining out with friends and family is NOT apples to apples. Would you ask your guests to pay for their meals at your rehearsal dinner?

Post # 74
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2010

View original reply
@poetiksoul1225:  haha… no problem anytime! 🙂

Post # 75
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You have given up enough already.  Have your upscale dinner, and don’t compromise about it.  The inlaws don’t have to spend $50 to come and visit during the meal.  They can eat at Chilis beforehand and then just get dessert at the nice place.  They can do whatever they need to do to be present for their son.  And you and your fi should get the elegant dinner you want–especially since you haven’t seen him in so long.  Your wedding day, evening and night should be romantic and lovely in the way the two of you want it to be.

Post # 76
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

After readng through the comments again, I think the suggestion that you have cake and punch and a toast and some appetizers with everyone is the best plan.  Do your parents or a friend have a house that could accomodate everyone for an hour or two? Then you and your hubby start your wedding night with the romantic upscale dinner for two.  No Chili’s and no asking anyone to pay.

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