Post # 77
It is YOUR WEDDING DAY! If they can not afford to come to your dinner, they are just going to have to wait until next year to celebrate with the two of you. I would never lower my standards on something like this, ESPECIALLY not for a place like red lobster or fkn chilis….
Post # 78
Mostly I am sympathetic to your situation. It sucks that his parents are not prioritizing your celebration but you can’t change it. However, it is not rude to remind someone that your wedding is only of utmost importance to you. This is very true of all weddings, large and small. Many people have trouble remembering that their wedding is not as important to anyone else as it is to them. It’s how things are. Deal with it.
Post # 79
Maybe it’s rude of me to say this but it’s YOUR DAY. Do what you want! If they don’t want to cough up the money that’s their problem. It’s not like it’s a ton of money. They are just being greedy. Trust me – I have some greedy family members and when push came to shove they decided we were more important.
Post # 80
After reading through (and now I understand the rush to get married, sorry, I didn’t know how it worked) I think that you do what you have to/can do… and just make sure you’re very explicit when you explain that you are unable to host a reception but would love to have your friends and family join you for a celebratory dinner after the wedding, with a link to the restaurant etc etc. They might disagree, they might think it’s the rudest idea in the world (their problem, not yours!), but as long as they have all of the information well in advance then they really can’t complain. If they can join you, they will. If they can’t, they can’t. Maybe have them over to your own home for cocktails another time.
Post # 81
With regard to paying for one’s own meal. This sounds like an intimate family and close friends affair. If my good friend, sister, brother, ect were getting married and they could not afford to pay for everyone’s meal, I would personally have NO problem paying my own way. I would not be insulted. Plan your time at the roof-top restaurant. Invite the inlaws and if they come welcome them and if they don’t have a wonderful time anyways. And, I can’t imagine not making my son or daughter’s wedding a priority.
One thought about their opinions on your dining choice maybe they just don’t go to restaurants that are not chains. I have relatives like that and they feel every place (owner operated) is either too expensive or subpar.
Whatever you choose, have a wonderful day.