(Closed) Closed on our house! Which is causing some issues…

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
39 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m gonna say no, unfortunately, heh. Your Mother-In-Law has her opinions and she will voice them regardless of what you say–and if you try to fight her on them, it sounds like she will just shut down or become resentful. In situations like this, I tend to just treat the ‘rents or ILs like grandparents: nod and smile and be respectful, and then keep doing what you want anyway 🙂

Post # 4
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Just tell her of another bee who has a $1400 a month mortgage payment- yikes!  I’d LOVE to have a $660 monthly payment!

Good luck!

Post # 5
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Congratulations on the house!

In situations like this I like to just smile and agree. “Oh, that’s nice!” “Interesting!” Etc. At some point people catch on that you don’t care tp hear their opinion and either they stop or they are annoyed with you. Ideally your Darling Husband should have a talk with his mother and tell her to butt out but if even after the discussion she brings it up then that’s how I would respond. I just try not to engage in the conversation but stay nice and hopefully they drop it.

I work in real estate and my Future Mother-In-Law tries to argue with me in regards to what we can afford and what is available.

Post # 6
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

She sounds like a control freak!  When we first bought our house, I was shocked that one of my older brothers was pretty negative about it.  He didn’t like the neighbourhood, the price, and had plenty of things to say.  I was so hurt!  We love our house and everyone else seemed to think it was awesome except him.  All I can say is that whatever it was all passed and he is totally fine now.  I never did figure out what it was all about exactly.  It doesn’t sound like your Mother-In-Law is the type to just let things go, but I would just act as happy as possible about your house (as you should be!) and try to let her negativity roll off your backs.  Every time she repeats that you paid too much or she doesn’t like the house, repeat how you’re thrilled with the deal you got and that it’s perfect for you two.

ETA: Actually, it might be ok in this case to mention it if she’s relentless.  “Why are you being so negative about our house?  This is a huge step for us and we’re very excited!”  That might wake her up a bit.

Post # 7
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If she is a control freak she is not goingto be happy about you (in her eyes) going behind her back and doing what you wanted and not what she wanted. In all honesty she may never let this go. My Mother-In-Law can be like this. I still hear about things my husband did 15 years ago. Just keep smiling and nodding and NEVER EVER tell her about anything that has to be done in that house not even regular maintenance. Unless it has been 15 years and the roof needs to be done. If not she will rub your face in it.

As for tonight. Keep gushing about all the things that you love about hte house and everytime she says something negative say something positive. Kill her with kindness.

Post # 10
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Wonderstruck:  Well, I’m a bit late in reading this, but that’s great that she didn’t bring up anything negative at dinner! You should be very proud regardless of what she thinks and you’re obviously very pleased with your purchase, so she’s being silly! Your home is super cute! Congrats!

Post # 11
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

YAY so glad it worked out in the end…$660 a mth…that is even less than I was paying for a 1 bedroom Apt in LA area…now I am paying 1775 a mth for a house…wowsers….the luxury of living in California….oh well….enough about me….so happy for you and your beautiful and lovely home!

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