Post # 1
Darling Husband has been really stressed at work lately. He’s also been talking about going out clubbing to release tension. I’m 36 and he’s 32 and I kind of feel like we are past that stage in life.
He used to date “club girls” who partied almost every night of the week. He said at first it was fun then it interfered with his job so he wouldn’t go. He also doesn’t dance but said he enjoyed the music. He was in his early to mid-twenties at the time.
There’s a well-known club in our area (overseas) and it’s where some of the American guys met their future (local national) wives. So it’s definitely a “pick up” place.
He’s been pressured into going before by young (19-21) coworkers and guys who are our age but visiting w/o their wives. These guys are always up to no good so Darling Husband has managed to avoid going by himself.
Another thing about the clubs here are they allow 16+ to get in. I have a Girlfriend (38) that’s taking her 16 yo daughter this weekend b/c all the American HS kids go and she won’t let her go alone w/o an adult. I feel like I’m too old to be hanging out with children (by U.S. standards) and don’t really want to go.
Sometimes I feel like he’s still trying to hold on to the carefree days of his youth but sometimes I feel like he just wants to go out with me and have a good time. By The Way, we DO drink and go to festivals and bars quite often…just not clubbing.
Any advice? I think he’s starting to think I’m not fun anymore.
Post # 3
On the one hand, at least he is trying to get you to go with him, instead of going out with these other hooligans. He isn’t doing anything behind your back, or being sketchy at all, so that’s good.
On the other hand, it’s a teeny-bopper club. I’d be annoyed too :/
I guess what I would do is go, try to have a little fun, but talk beforehand about how long you’ll stay or if you have a particular word/phrase/look/kick to the shin to indicate when you’re ready to leave.
Don’t be the fun police! Go dance on a bar 😛
Post # 4
@texasbee: Hi girl! ((hugs))
I’m sure you’re still loads of fun!
By no means are either of you too old for clubbing. My Fiance and I are older than both of you (I’m 44, he’s 49 with b-days coming up soon) and we go out almost every weekend. Of course here in the States we don’t have the “teen” issue because our legal age is 21. But we see people our age and older everywhere we go. In Raleigh, NC the clubs get a good mix of age ranges, from 20’s to 60’s, and everyone seems to mix in fine and get along great, although the younger people outnumber us by far. But lots of times we get compliments about how cool we are to be out amongst the younger crowd, lol.
At any rate, there’s nothing wrong with having fun if you both agree and compromise on what you enjoy doing. If your Darling Husband wants to go clubbing and he wants you to go with him, isn’t it worth giving it a shot and see if you have fun? Make a deal that you get to choose the next outing that would be more fun for you. Relationships are about making both people happy. 😉
Edit: Both my Fiance and myself get mistaken for being in our 30’s all the time; we never enlighten anyone, though, haha! We like looking young for our ages.
Post # 5
How often does he want you to go?
I try to do things I don’t necessarily love occasionally if they make my husband happy (and aren’t completely unreasonable), and he does the same. If he just wants to go once in a while, I see a compromise happening. If he wanted to go every night, I’d be more resistant.
+1 to him for including you instead of going out to a sketchball club with the younger guys alone!
Post # 6
@texasbee: Go with him. The alternative is to stay home and worry that he thinks you’re not fun. Which is not fun. Go, drink and dance and who gives a crap who else is there?
Post # 7
@Sunfire: Hi there! Darling Husband and I look younger than we are too! The last time I went clubbing (33) some guy thought I was 24….he was 22 and was telling me about his college classes. I lied and told him I was 28 which he didn’t believe…called his friends over and everything….it was too funny!
@DaneLady: He actually asked me a long time ago if he could go w/o me…I said absolutely not. He’s been a couple of times overseas (before we were serious) and always got into a fight…started by the local nationals. He knows that Americans (especially military) can be targeted at clubs/bars here.
@MrsWrangler: He’s brought it up a couple of times….how we never do anything or go anywhere. Really? We travel, go to fests, friends’ houses, etc. EVERY single weekend. These are always his plans. He asks me what I want to do and I tell him….museums, sightseeing, etc. but those aren’t “fun” ideas so we rarely do them.
@mimi123: I think I’ll cave and go next weekend when I don’t have to work on Saturday. Plus the stupid club is open until 5 am….I’ll need a nap first if I’m gonna stay up that late!
Post # 8
You’re still fun! I think it’s good that he wants you to go with him. Maybe try encouraging him to find a pastime that he enjoys to do with male friends? Darling Husband golfs and I always encourage him to go out and have fun with the guys. He’s good about finding a balance between friends and home.
I sometimes worry, too, that we are becoming ‘boring or too traditional. We used to be really social when we first started dating but lately have been kind of stuck with staying in, ordering in, renting movies, etc…I’ve tried pushing us to go out more to places that are our age like wing nights, trivia nights, drinks at our local pub, etc (no clubbing for this girl). Last week Darling Husband wanted to go to wing night at 6:30 to “beat the crowd” – I LOLed forever then told him we need to get a life! Hahaha.
Post # 9
I’m not into the club scene anymore either, but at least hubs is asking you to come with! I say suck it up and go with him, that is what I would do 🙂 It’s great that he is willing to communicate and tell you what he needs!
Post # 10
@missbeachbum: That made me LOL. It seems these days when we go out to eat or do something, we get home at the time people our age would be going out.
I’d say go with Darling Husband to the club. It is not like he wants to go every weekend. But then maybe the weekend after you could do one of the things you want to like sightseeing. Also have a signal, so that if one of you is having a terrible time, or is super tired because it is so late then you can go home.
Post # 11
Go and have fun. Unless you are going to a place only frequented by Americans you won’t be old at all. Yes, there will be some schüler but I can imagine your music taste is different which should week out most of the teens by location choice alone. If you reallyare wiorried about the age differnce, look for a Ü30 night and you will certainly be young! I think clubbing is a bit different in Europe than the US since clubs are open longer and an accepted part of a social life earlier they are more diverse in general. Europeans also tend to binge drink less out of necessity in order to make it until 5am so early on you should not run into to many crazy drunks.