Post # 1
whether you want to call it a co-ed bridal shower or a co-ed wedding party or whatever else you would like to call it, what do you think about men attending?
i was thinking i dont have many friends at all and FH does. all his friends have a SO or a fiance or wife. one of his groomsmen is actually getting married next month. i have never gotten close to any of them. i am invited to the all female bridal shower next weekend. i am going. it is going to be a bit odd since i wont know anyone but i have even said to FH that i need to “get out there more” and TRY to make friends.
i was also thinking i dont know if im invited just because FH is in the wedding party or what…
BUT what im getting at is this, since the host is inviting me to hers, i would definitely invite her to mine. except she would be the only one there thats not really family (the me having no friends would be the reason for this). so i was thinking..what about a co-ed party. because all it is really is people giving you gifts and socializing right? i thought it would be cool to have FHs friends there and all their SO. and if the gifts are both for FH and I then why not have them there.
on the side, i know im not supposed to plan my own party but i like being in the loop hehe. and i know a perfect place where we have held parties and what not before. it is a large room and at one end there is a couch and a big flat screen tv so if the men “got bored” they could watch the game that is on or whatever.
on a side note, i never really got the concept of having a bridal shower. people bring you gifts. which they do at the wedding anyways so to me it just seemed like a way to ask for more stuff which just seems wrong and greedy. so i initially said i did not want one but now the more i think about it, it seems like “something youre supposed to do” and everyone else i know of getting married is having one so i want one now
that being said, if they bring gifts to the bridal party does that mean they wont have to bring a gift to the wedding? because asking for 2 gifts just seems wrong
experienced brides please share your opinions
Post # 3
@cllyons: my family threw me a girls-only bridal shower followed by an open party. It worked well. We opened presents, snacked and played a couple games before the guys showed up. Then it was a great party. We also played a variation of the newlywed game with all the couples present, which was a lot of fun.
Post # 4
I have three very close friends that are guys and they attended my shower and if FH was in town he would have attended too. My cousin also had a couples shower and it was a ton of fun having everyone together.
Post # 5
I had a girls only shower and a couples shower. Both were great! I really liked having the guys there so I say go for it. I’m sure you will have a great time 🙂
Post # 6
junabiona that sounds like a good idea
Nola good to hear. and like i said its gifts for US not just me so i think i would feel awkward accepting all the gifts on my own
kelmac im thinking as long as its not filled with all girly things or girls only things it should be a success
Post # 7
My fiance’s best friend recently got married and they had a co-ed shower. It was a good time for all. We brought a gift to the shower and had another gift sent directly to them for the wedding. I believe this is standard etiquette, but could be wrong. It seemed like the right thing to do since they’re best friends and my fiance was in the bridal party.
I’m not certain that I’m having a bridal shower since my matron of honor lives in another state and I don’t know how easy it will be for her to coordinate. But if I end up having one and get any say, I plan on doing co-ed as well. I don’t really like being the center of attention so I think it would be more comfortable – and fun – for me if my fiance is there as well.
Not to mention the fact that I really have no good female friends and none of my family lives nearby aside from my parents.
Post # 8
I am going to go against the grain and say a lot of my SO’s guy friends have been in weddings the past couple of years, and I always hear complaints from them when they have to go to co-ed showers.
Post # 9
I dont know any guys that like showers so you will have to entertain the guys somehow. Maybe have a lot of good guy food like beer and burgers and a football game playing. Then they will be happy to attend.
Post # 10
Yes the aim of showers is to get gifts…and have loved ones “shower” you with happiness. That’s why you don’t plan your own -looks like gift grubbing. Instead graciously accept the one(s) thrown for you. It has been my experience that most bridal showers are just for women with the groom possibly showing up to help open gifts. *Yawn* (for gift opening -who wants to watch that?) My sisters threw me a regular “girls only” shower where my husband did just that -showed up later for gifts. My best friend & her mother threw us a co-ed cocktail party in the evening which was actually very nice -we had a great time. So either goes these days, just as long as the gifts you are registered for are for your new household, not personal items for him and her. In that case, the couples’ shower REALLY begins to look greedy. As for 2 gifts, 1 is given at the shower and another at the wedding (pretty standard). As to the wedding gift, usually cash is given, but we still got many gifts off of our registry. I wanted to feel bad about all of this, but hey I did the same thing for many, many couples -we all get our turn.
Post # 11
I had a girls-only bridal shower, in which most people brought me lingerie. My Future Mother-In-Law was bent out of shape over the fact that my fiance wasn’t present, even though I do think it would’ve been a bit inappropriate. Plus we live out of the area from which the party was held(my hometown). I think it was perfect with just girls and it was great for a girly party.
However, on the other hand, the people at my work are giving me a “wedding shower”. In which they want my fiance to attend. (I think they are rather *curious* of him, as none of them have met him.) Also, men were invited to the shower as well. My work tends to give parties/showers for people, and make them co-ed, and it’s just not unusual. We are going to have at least 2 other guys there besides my own fiance.THe people will be giving us more like wedding registry type of gifts though. I am actually really nervous about the whole thing! I hope things turn out okay, as I hate being the center of attention. I’m glad fiance will be there with me. Mind you, not everyone at the work shower are invited to the wedding: I only invited my close coworkers. They understand,though. I am having a smaller wedding (under 60). Also, my coworkers are mostly generations older than me. I’ve been the youngest the whole time I have been working there for 6 years. I am hoping my Future Mother-In-Law won’t come to this shower, because it’s a bit far for her to travel (where fiance and I live). I think it’s fun and exciting for them for one of the youngest people to get married though…..the last teacher who got married was over 6 years ago!
Post # 12
mrscandy if we go that route which im thinking is the only way id want one..there will definitely be male entertainment.
my Maid/Matron of Honor is only 19 so while i will not be planning my own party shell probably need some help.
Post # 13
I accidentally had a coed shower. Boys were supposed to be in another room (they didn’t want to miss out on the good food so they came), but they were so into what was happening in our room that they kept coming over, which I was fine with. All we did was eat, mingle, and open presents, so it was very guy friendly.
We just threw a coed baby shower for a friend, and they wanted to have games. Boys weren’t into it. I think it depends on the type of shower you want.
Post # 14
My sister in law had a co-ed shower at a modern restaurant that had a party room. My Fiance and all the guys in the family complained like hell and made fun of it… The party came around, and it was a blast. It was basically just a party — we all got drunk — no games, no foo foo BS. It was great!
Post # 15
I had a co-ed shower, we went to play mini golf and it was FAB! Loved it, and the event ended up spanning the day/night.
Post # 16
it’s an interesting choice, for sure.