(Closed) Co-Maid of Honor Hates Me and is Making my Life Stressful

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
914 posts
Busy bee

I’ve never been through that, but I think kindly bowing out would be one way to take the high road in this. You could frame it as not wanting to make things more difficult for your friend, and since these issues are already starting, it’s better to step aside and support her as a guest, or a regular bridesmaid. 

I think people could argue that it’s not about you or this other girl, but the bride. While that’s true, if this other woman is already so aggressive about working with you, it will negatively affect the bride. 

I”m sorry this is happening!

Post # 3
Member
15 posts
Newbee

She sounds like she’s still stuck in high school and is a total drama queen.  Most mature adults would be open to resolving an issue so they can work peacefully together for the sake of another.  She is right to one extent, if you meet her only talk about the plans and leave it at that; if she tries to get snarky or rude, just remind her of her tone and get back to the subject at hand.  You don’t have to be anyone’s emotional punching bag. 

Post # 4
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

What a horrible situation. There is abosolutely no need for you to be treated like this. I would be bowing out also. I think it’s also a bit of an ask that your friend the bride thinks it’s ok for you to have to go through it – who puts their friends in that predicament? Wedding or not, I just can’t imagine having a friend deal with that on my behalf? 

 

Post # 5
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

That’s horrible. Do you know why she doesn’t like you?

Post # 9
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I would bow out. Your friend will probably be pissed and this terrible girl will likely spin it so you’re the villain. I would still bow out. How awful, you don’t need to be involved in that kind of toxic behavior. And “I’m not picking sides” is bull pucky in my opinion.

Post # 10
Member
5641 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

I don’t like to complicate my life with ridiculous drama, and someone I don’t really care about won’t drag me into a senseless feud.  I would talk to my friend, explaining why I’m bowing out, and attend the wedding as a guest.

Post # 11
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
amalzingsong :  wow that’s crazy. I’d bow out for sure and like PP suggested, I’d tell the bride it would be less stressful on her end. Do you think she might be mad because she has to share the duties of MOH? I think I saw an episode of SYTTD like that.

Post # 12
Member
10284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

“I’m not picking sides.”

actually, you just did. 

She picked to allow the mean girl full power to continue, so I’d bow out and know you spared yourself some soul-sucking drama. 

Post # 13
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
BalletParker :  exactly, this 

Post # 14
Member
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

I would bow out. Tell her that since she is against talking about the issue and trying to resolve the problem you don’t feel comfortable having anything to do with her. Wish her well.

Post # 15
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
hintsofjoy :  I agree with EVERYTHING you wrote 100%

The topic ‘Co-Maid of Honor Hates Me and is Making my Life Stressful’ is closed to new replies.

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