(Closed) Co-Maid of Honor Hates Me and is Making my Life Stressful

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
19 posts
  • Wedding: June 2017

How weird! I would kindly bow out, that just seems like a whole mess of drama to have to deal with. Especially with her being so stubborn about it.

Post # 19
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Bow out. Tell your friend you’re happy to just be a Bridesmaid or Best Man or attend as a guest – leave that choice up to her.

Post # 20
2527 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
amalzingsong :  Not only would I bow out, I’d be side-eyeing my friendship with the bride as well. She needed to check her other Maid/Matron of Honor on her ridiculous behavior. The fact that she didn’t wouldn’t sit well with me.

Post # 21
143 posts
Blushing bee

I would definitely bow out. There’s zero need for that kind of drama, and she seems like she’s already claimed the title of drama queen! I’m sorry you have to deal with such immaturity during what should be a joyous occasion. 

Post # 22
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
amalzingsong :   I’d bow out.  No matter what drama the mean girl pulls from now on, you won’t be associated with it.  

Post # 23
1441 posts
Bumble bee

I’d step out of the bridal party completely.  If you ‘step down’ to bridesmaid, this particular Maid/Matron of Honor sounds like she would enjoy having the ‘power’ to continue to make snide remarks and poke at you in passive-aggressive ways.     

Post # 24
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with PP’s. I’m surprised that your friend would use “not picking sides” as a way to avoid having to manage the conflict the other bridesmaid is starting. I would also bow out as I dont think anyone deserves to be treated this way, and with the brides lack of willingness to stand up for you I can only imagine how future planning will go. 

Post # 25
7535 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
BalletParker :  
View original reply
icinia :  I don’t know, in my experience when someone says “I’m not picking sides” it is because both sides are at fault and the bride did acknowledge that it wasn’t nice but maybe she knows what the other persons issue is and thinks it is an expected response. We don’t know the whole story and are only hearing one biased side.

Post # 26
7535 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
amalzingsong :  You need to make a choice on what is more important to you, supporting your friend as her moh or stepping down.

I don’t know but whilst the original text was a bit weird maybe she wanted to be clear that this wasn’t an invitation to be friends and she just wanted to suck it up for her friend. The way I read it was we are never going to be friends so let’s just get through this for the bride. To me you kind of started more drama but wanting an explanation which you are not owed and worse you brought the bride into this drama (causing more drama and trying to make her choose between her two best friends). I mean you are hardly innocent if you read your OP- you are miffed that someone else was also given the moh title.

If it was me I would suck it up for my best friend and keep the boundaries where they were set- two people working on a project.

Post # 27
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’ll disagree with most of the posters, I would stick it out for my friend and keep contact with the co moh to a minimum. I’ve been a co moh before and it’s not like we were in constant contact. Just stick to logistics, who gives a shit why she’s upset with you? There’s no need to talk it out because you dont have to be friends.

Post # 28
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I wouldnt bow down just because of her pathetic behaviour. You’re there to support your friend

Post # 29
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why not divide it up: one organises the bridal shower and one organises the bachelorette. Or limit contact some other way. I don’t see why bowing out is the only option. 

I keep bringing this example up, but my parents went through a very bitter divorce and still managed to co-operate, at arms’ length, on their children’s weddings (which they partly funded). If parents can put aside the bitterness of a divorce, then MOHs should be able to put aside high school drama.

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