(Closed) Co-Maid of Honor Hates Me and is Making my Life Stressful

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

Leaving the bridal party to start sounds a little too far. Perhaps take the bride to tea and tell her how much you want to be there for her on her wedding day. Ask her if she would have you as a bridesmaid and why you’re making the request. If her response is less than stellar then you could always bow out then. I don’t like it that the bride didn’t even try to make you feel better or find out why… 

Aside from that, you could try to just split the bridal shower/ party like an above poster said. That would keep you guys away from each other. If the other Maid/Matron of Honor gets sassy or says anything, you can just tell them you’re genuinely confused but beyond that, just try to accept the situation and keep going for your mutual friends sake. 

Post # 32
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I would have a talk with the bride before straight up bowing out. I understand not wanting to pick sides and that she’s friends with both of you but in any situation, I would not let one of my friends be treated like that. She should have tactfully approached the other Maid/Matron of Honor and asked why she’s being so toxic and overall gross. If she refuses to acknowledge the situation or help after bringing it up, then I would decline to be in the party. You want to be there for her big day, but you need to put your own well-being first. No one should have to deal with that.

Post # 33
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Had a coworker like this. Just acted like I didn’t exist and I tried a few times to resolve whatever issue there was. Asked her what I did or if I offended her in some matter and was met with ‘No, it’s cool’ but yet her behavior said otherwise. Up to this day I have no cluie what her problem was with me so I guess some people are just that way. No real issue with you, it’s just all them.

I totally understand how uncomfortable your situation is and honestly something like this can stress the bride out and she already has enough on their plate as it is. Like PP said, have a chat with the bride once more and go from there, it sounds like unneeded drama and well the other Maid/Matron of Honor should really not be causing extra stress as it is.

Post # 34
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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amalzingsong :  as an outsider hearing the story,  yes this girl is really petty and down right rude, but maybe she is hurt that she has to be a co-matron? Typically people don’t ask to be bridesmaids etc. you are asked. So all I can think is since this girl was already asked by the bride and then you came in and asked she is mad about it. This by no means gives her the right to be nasty to you, but knowing her back ground of making something so small into something so big this was to be expected. 

Post # 35
Member
8281 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
amalzingsong :  Wow – she does not sound like a nice person. I too would want to bow out of this, sounds like there would be a lot more drama to come through no fault of your own and life is too short for that. You poor thing.

Post # 36
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Drop out.  If your friend the bride won’t intervene then she has already picked a side.  Let her have that side.

Post # 37
Member
765 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
amalzingsong : I feel for you. I used to get letters like this from a family member and I didn’t understand where it all came from either. Got long letters about how we otherwise wouldn’t be friends, so why try to force anything, blah blah blah. When I actually had no clue why the question of would be be big friends or any of that was even being brought up. Up until those bizarre letters starting showing up, I never gave our relationship or alledged non-existant friendship much thought.

Then I found out that she was being fed false info from a family member that wasn’t ‘well’ shall we say. Any chance that maybe she’s being fed false info about you?

Anyway, sounds like this could be a big mess, If it was me, think I’d probably step down and Let the bride and her choice of Maid/Matron of Honor carry on as they see fit. Up to you what you want to do, but I wouldn’t do it.

The topic ‘Co-Maid of Honor Hates Me and is Making my Life Stressful’ is closed to new replies.

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