(Closed) Co Matron Of Honor Furious about sharing role

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

She is taking it WAAAAYYY too personally!!!!!!!!!! I suppose if she was super excited to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and plan everything for you, she would be disappointed at having to “share.” But really… I can’t help but wonder if other things happened during planning? Do you know if she and your other Maid/Matron of Honor got along?

I guess I can even understand being kind of hurt if you know someone is your best friend, but they have more than just you. But really she should have handled it more like an adult. It’s a WEDDING for crying out loud. Of course it’s important but it was never, ever about her. I am kind of surprised that she herself was married and couldn’t really see that….

Post # 4
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I guess if I were to give you any advice, it would be let it go for a day or two to calm down, and then write something simple like “I have told you before that I did not give you the role out of pity, and I explained my reasoning to have both you and the other girl. I can not do anything more than that, and to just once again express that I care about you and love you. I’m sorry you feel that way, but what’s done is done and I can’t change your feelings, only you can decide how you want to take it.” Leave the ball in her court.

The defensive side of me would also want to add a line about how she should maybe think about getting over herself a little because the wedding wasn’t about her, but I’d advise be the bigger person and NOT say that lol.

Post # 5
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

This exact situation happened during/after my FSIL wedding….

Which is exactly why its a bad idea to have 2 Maid/Matron of Honor.  Because no matter how old you are, they could be 50! Chances are one, if not both, will feel hurt and jealous. I know I would!

Either way whats done is done.  The mature thing to do is call her, and talk about it. Yes again. Or you can not call her, and move on from the friendship.

Post # 8
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

How terrible she is acting this way. I hope she quickly gets over her issues. This is not something you want to remember dealing with when you think of your wedding day years down the road.

Post # 9
Member
46672 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@WG1020:  Don’t let her problem become your problem.

 

@Sunnyday278:  gave good advice. Acknowledge that she is hurt but don’t take responsibility for it. Tell her that you want to keep your friendship and you hope that at some point she will be able to put these feelings behind her.

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