- 5 years ago
Ok so I have known the bride-to-be for 10+ years. Up until recently (like within the past 6 months) we saw each other at least once a week. We’ve taken vacations together, I know all of her family, and he groom asked ME for what to do for when he popped the question. It should also be said the bride has been saying that I would be her Maid/Matron of Honor when she got married for YEARS. So I was naturally really excited to be a part of the planning and everything. I was even looking up bridal shower/bachelorette ideas after her groom told me when he was proposing!
Well soon after the engagement, the bride comes to me and asks if I wouldn’t mind being a CO-maid with this other girl. She’s known this other girl for a while too, but not as long as she’s known me and she didn’t hang out with her half as much. She was like “Well, she has more experience at this and blah blah blah…I think she could help a lot. Would you mind?”
Sadly, the fact is that I DO mind. And to be honest, I feel a little insulted- for all the reasons I mentioned above. But I didn’t want to crap all over her parade so I said that although I’m confident that I could handle the title myself, it was her wedding so I would respect her decision. She didn’t seem too pleased that I wasn’t totally down for the Co thing, but I wanted to be honest and adult about it.
Well even though no titles have been officially given, this girl already has it in her head that she’s a Maid/Matron of Honor. She’s already treating this wedding like it’s her own. She has gown ideas, groom gift ideas, photography, party planning…the works! I already feel left in the dust. I feel like Annie up against Helen in that Bridesmaids movie.
I’m trying to not let it eat away at me, but it is. Maybe I’m just feeling a little rejected… or mad that she doesn’t think that I can handle to responsibility (this is my first Maid/Matron of Honor job so it’s not like she has a prior experience to judge me on)…or maybe she just doesn’t want to be the bad guy and let this other girl down, but yeah. I’m not too happy about it.
Anyone else have a similar experience? How did you cope?