(Closed) Co-MOH drama

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Aw I feel your pain and completely understand. It’s never easy to feel like your friend doesn’t have faith in you to pull it off on your own. I’ve been a co-moh, a Maid/Matron of Honor when there was also a Matron of honor, and just a Bridesmaid or Best Man but had to do all the work since the “official” Maid/Matron of Honor was out of state. The thing I kept telling myself was, “This is her wedding, whatever I can do to help make it better (whether I agree with every little thing or not) is what I will do” Maybe think of it as two heads are better than one. Give your ideas and your opinions, but don’t be disappointed if you get over-ruled. Also I’d schedule some one on one time with the bride and let her know how you feel. Just be honest. Let her know that you would love to help in anyway you can, but that you’d really like to “take the reigns”.

Post # 4
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

As a bride, I would love more ideas. Maybe pick one party (may I suggest bachelorette!) To be in charge of, let the other girl do the shower. Your bride would love help and ideas from both of you! As you’ve known her longer, you are more likely to know her style etc so you can focus on the fun stuff dress, cake, decor. Let her rely on the other girl for help with details and the more boring and technical things. I would tell the bride that you really want to plan a specific party (or whatever else you are really passionate about). 

Don’t let there be drama, because then it may hurt your relationship. Drama is a choice and I have rid my life of it and am much happier and so is my wedding planning. Above all be the BFF and don’t stress the bride! Best luck!

Post # 5
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

And don’t forget the moral of the story, going overboard doesn’t equal being a good friend.  If the gal wants to overplan, let her.  Just offer to do what you feel comfortable doing and follow through.  That will really make a difference.

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