(Closed) Co-worker asked if she will be invited (kind of long)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What steps should I take to handle this? (you can vote multiple options)
    Invite her : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Do not invite her. : (16 votes)
    44 %
    Hope she doesn't bring it up again. : (5 votes)
    14 %
    Mention it to her and explain that we can't invite everyone from work (awkward! But necessary?) : (14 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Fiance and I are inviting people from work. I really wish we weren’t now, because fiance just went nuts inviting people that he ‘liked’ at worked but has never really spent any social time with. We initially had a rule of “people that we spend time with outside of work are invited” but with fiance’s eagerness, that blew out of proportion really quickly.

    Long story short, I don’t think you should invite this girl if you don’t know her or aren’t that close to her. Not only because it adds to your guest list, but also because then you have no reason not to invite others. Draw a line in the sand and stick to it.

    Post # 4
    7679 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If by “has moved in with one of our (invited) co-workers temporarily” you mean in a non-romantic sense (i.e. house sharing with a girl), then no, don’t invite her. The problem with inviting one person who fishes for an invite, is that you set a precedent. I can just imagine someone else thinking “Why is she invited when I’ve worked with them longer?”

    Of course if by “move in with” you mean in a romantic sense, then she gets an invite as the invited person’s partner.

    In answer to the poll, I’d choose the last option (explain we can’t invite everyone) but only if she brings it up again.

    Post # 6
    363 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Maybe she also doesn’t realise that only a few ppl from are invited and most are not as she saw a STD at her roommate/coworkers place. I wouldn’t invite her and hope she doesn’t bring it up again but if she does just explain really sorry but limited budget and venue space and we can only invite a few friends from work

    Post # 7
    13251 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would ignore it for now, but if she brings it up again, tell her that you had to make some tough cuts and unfortunately, there just wasn’t space to include everyone.  Since she is a newer coworker and you had more of a relationship with the others, you had to make hard calls and cut somewhere.

    Post # 8
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    I had someone ask me if they were invited “all day instead of just the evening like at so-and-so’s”. I’d actually thought So-and-so had been totally reasonable only asking us all for the evening – we’re a large group who trained together as teachers, and we don’t see each other that often. I was a bit annoyed at that dig, particularly because she never speaks to me outside of events like the Christmas meal (where she asked, which I organised). But I just told her that we’re not sure on numbers, as both FH and I have large families, so obviously they get priority.

    It’s amazing how people suddenly think they’re much more important in your lives than they actually are once you start planning a wedding, especially if they then don’t make an effort to prove that.


    I’d hope she doesn’t mention it again, certainly don’t invite her, but if she does just explain to her your number limits – put emphasis on family, no-one can argue with that!

    The topic ‘Co-worker asked if she will be invited (kind of long)’ is closed to new replies.

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