Post # 1
He is my closest co-worker and he has been a great mentor to me and we often have lunch together. He told me that “I better invite him to my wedding” a while ago. I don’t mind inviting him but I feel kind of awkward about it because we have only hung out outside of work a few times and all but one of those times it was with the rest of our coworkers. I have tried inviting him to my house before to bbqs or other things but he has never come to those things.
I really appreciate this person and it would be great if he came to my wedding but I also feel awkward inviting him when we dont really hang out outside of work and if I invite him then I think I maybe should invite one of our other coworker that we go to lunch with who is awesome but I just don’t know that well. The other thing is that we have some judgemental and nosey people that we work with and I am worried that word will get around about the wedding website and people who were not invited will snoop through it and gossip about it. ( I am not crazy, I have literally heard some of my coworkers online stalking old coworkers and gossiping about the information they find)
Anyway I guess this was sort of a rant, was anyone else in a similar situation? Should I just invite the two co-workers I go to lunch with and call it a day since they are the nicest and coolest people I work with? Not sure if they will want to drive 5 hrs to my wedding though.
Post # 2
How rude! Sorry you have to deal with that – it will be awkward now if he is invited or not.
Post # 3
The cleanest liine to draw is to only invite those co-worker with whom you have social relationship outside work (having lunch together on a workday doesn’t count).
Be prepared with a response for when he or anyone else says something like this. “We would love to have you there. Unfortunately we are unable to invite everyone we would like to have with us.”
Post # 4
Just don’t invite him. Who says “you better invite me to your wedding” in a serious way anyway?
Post # 5
I had my roomate say the same to me the day after I got engaged ( we barely know each other and I’ve tried to develop a frienship with her but she has shown no interest), guess whos not invited…
Post # 6
“You better invite me” automatically makes me want to NOT invite someone.
Just make a “no co-workers” rule.
Post # 7
He probably thought he was being nice, like trying to show you’re important to him. I wouldn’t take it seriously. If he brings it up again, just say you can’t invite everyone from work so you’re not inviting anyone.
Post # 8
“LOL tell that to my MIL! We’re trying to keep it small but she keeps inviting people! Oh my gosh, did you hear about [insert random topic change here]?”
I had co-workers invite themselves when it was over a year away LOL.
Post # 9
- Wedding: December 1969 - City, State
Reading your title alone without the context and tone of voice it sounded like a threat, but he was probably trying to be funny.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/61009769930855008/> This flow chart may help you decide based on whether you spend time with your co-worker outside of work and if their presence will add joy to your day. Might help simplify things for you. Also, he may have good reasons for not attending your previous parties. Does not mean he will not show up for your wedding!
Post # 10
I had an executive at my then-company (not my SVP, but one who interviewed me when I was hired and with whom I sometimes worked) tell me that he expected to be invited. I was pretty surprised when he said it, and I did feel a bit awkward about it. However, I chose to invite him and his wife. They are lovely people. He even left our organization many months prior to my wedding, but I still invited them, and they attended.
Regarding co-workers, I was close with only two, but I decided to invite my whole (not very large) department and their spouses as well as my SVP and CEO and some other key staff. In hindsight, that was a lot of people from work, but, at the time, those people were playing a significant role in my everyday life, and I don’t regret including them, even though I haven’t seen any of them in many years now.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
DH and I chose to not invite any coworkers (regardless of relationship with them). It just made it more fair, and everyone understood.
Post # 12
Thank you everyone for your responses! Who knew wedding planning could be so awkward!