(Closed) Co-Worker Wedding

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Eh, I would take it as a compliment. Since she is just a coworker (and not a family member or close friend) it’s not like you two will have a lot of the same guests anyway.

Post # 4
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

They are so far apart from each other no one will notice… or care. Just enjoy your planning!

Post # 5
Member
10573 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

If it’s making you uncomfortable at this point I would stop talking about your wedding with any coworkers.  If they ask just say you want to keep things as a surprise (if they are invited) or that you’d rather tell them all about it after the wedding is over.

Post # 6
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I would just stop talking to her about your wedding. Or give vague answers. If she asks you about your photographer and DJ, just said you’ve looked at a few, but haven’t settled on any yet. Don’t give her any further details unless you want her wedding to be the same as yours!

Post # 7
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wouldn’t be that offended, grey and yellow were popular wedding colors this year and mason jars don’t seem to be that original anymore. A wedding is either going to be outside or inside, and it seems that most that go with outside are going with ‘rustic’. 

As for the vendor questions… I would just direct her to how you found yours but not who specifically you are using.

Post # 8
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would not get worked up about this. Just search wedding on pinterest and you’ll find a dozen grey and yellow rustic weddings with mason jars. It’s very popular right now (mostly because it’s totally awesome). So don’t assume she “stole” your ideas. You probably just have similar tastes and have seen some of the same inspiration because it’s all over the web. You don’t have to share your vendors if you don’t want to, but I know I’ve asked anyone who has recently gotten married in my town for vendors, not becaue I want to copy them but because I like to support smaller vendors who survive by word of mouth. Enjoy your own awesome wedding and don’t worry about hers.

Post # 9
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you don’t have duplicate guests (or very few), I would just shrug it off and move on. That being said, if it makes it uncomfortable, you can always “lie” about your vendors and say either you haven’t picked one out yet (since you still have a whole year to go) or give her some suggestions for good ones but not necessarily “the one”. For example, with photographers, I’m sure you looked at a few before making a decision. I don’t like people copying me so we’ve leaked information out to very very very few people and only those closest to us in a private conversation. Otherwise, I usually just give vague details to other people, such as co-workers, such as “Oh yeah, we’re going to have a DJ, probably something modern…”

Plus, she can try to copy you all you want, but if it’s not “her”, then it won’t turn out well anyway as it’s not a reflection of who she/they is/are. It’s like when photographers copy a unique style from another photographer; the copier never does it half as good and it shows.

Post # 10
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s very likely that you will have very few of the same guests. Maybe she’s not inviting anyone from work. Take it as a compliment.

Post # 11
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ugh dont you hate when people do that… it really can bug the crap out of you..

where I work at… two other girls are engaged and getting married… their colors and themes are wayyy different than mine… except for this one co worker… who is not engaged… when I got engaged in Dec. I started showing people my ideas on pinterest and etsy and so on… this co worker who doesnt have a boyfriend would come in my office and would see me looking up stuff and would be around when people would be like “oohhhh i love that.. that is such a great idea… ” well she then started looking up stuff and starting throwing stuff in peoples face and it annoyed me soo bad bc i felt like anytime I brought up my real wedding she would start throwing out ideas for her imaginary wedding… so finally I just stop bringing it up in front of her and only when she wasnt around would I ask peoples opinions. Even though it was super annoying and I would be in bad moods, it made me realize she is super jealous.. maybe not of me exactly but of that fact that everyone is getting married in our office but her… your story is a little different but kinda the same.. even though people who you work with dont say it outloud they prob. notice that she is “copying you” or trying to out do you bc others like your ideas. dont let her bring you down about planning. plan your wedding how you want too… maybe just dont talk about it in front of her. your wedding will be beautiful and perfect 🙂

Post # 12
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

If you’re using one of the most popular current color combinations and some of the most popular current decor elements, it’s hardly stealing just because you know another person using the same themes. If, however, you truly feel she is trying to completely copy your look, then just stop letting any details slip. Don’t offer up any names or thoughts on the vendors. Wish her well in her search with vendors and a venue, and leave it at that. Your weddings are 7 months apart, even if you do have duplicate guests, they will never remember or care what things are similar between your weddings.

Post # 13
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

…Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.

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