(Closed) co-workers

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would like to know this as well!

Post # 4
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Technically, no, not if they are married, engaged, or living with someone. (I have colleagues that I have a strictly work-relationship with and I would find it weird if I were invited to their weddings without DH)

If they are single, a +1 is a courtesy, but not bad etiquette to exclude.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

you should only invite them as single if they are in fact single. it’s rude to invite someone without their husband/wife or fiance(e).

Post # 6
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m curious as well. I’ve been at my current job for 10 years now and they’ve been a part of 2 baby showers and 1 wedding already. I think that’s enough. LOL I do have a good friend that I work with and she’s invited. I finally came out last week that I was getting married and a couple of the ladies(including my boss) were all excited and asked when were they going to receive their invite and oh we have to plan your shower now. I felt guilty. I just ended up saying oh the wedding isn’t until April so there’s time….yeah.  I really wouldn’t mind inviting a few of them but I really can’t afford their SOs ad well. It’s really the main reason why I wasn’t going to invite them in the first place. What to do, what to do??

Post # 7
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

I’ve only been at my job a little over a year. I do not plan to invite my co-workers. One co-worker was a personal friend and is in my wedding. I have decided to invite one. I do not plan to say anything at all. Some may not care, some may. But in the end…there are too many to invite and their SO. They will just have to understand.

My Fiance works for small business, he talks constantly about the wedding, so we have to invite everyone. LOL Most of the guest list is his family and friends. He is paying for the wedding so I have no argument. LOL

Post # 8
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ll reiterate what PPs have said… the proper thing to do is to include a significant other if your coworker is married, engaged, living with a partner or in a serious committed relationship. (Plus-ones are optional for single guests.) I would think it very odd at best to be invited alone to a coworker’s wedding, and I would most certainly decline. If you cannot afford the SO, then you cannot afford the coworker, either.

Beyond that, I would say that it’s up to you on where you draw the line on coworkers, and it is rude of any coworker to assume he/she will be invited – even your boss. It’s also not unusual for coworkers to throw an office shower even if they are not invited to the wedding.

We chose to manage this issue by only inviting coworkers whom we also consider friends – i.e., those with whom we socialize outside of the office. Inviting your boss but not others is also acceptable, I think, but I would only do it if I were having a large wedding.

If you don’t want to invite coworkers, then I would put the message out early and often that you are having an “intimate wedding for family and close friends only.” And then minimize any talk of the wedding in the workplace.

Post # 9
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I forgot to mention on the boss thing–I don’t know what kind of office environment you have, but I worked in corporate and I’d never invite my boss–and she would never come. Neither one of us wants to see the other one cutting loose on the dance floor, drinking etc. Unless you have a super close relationship with your boss, I think that it’s in poor form for them to talk about receiving an invite.

You don’t have to justify your guest list to anyone; least of all your coworkers. Invite them (with SOs/FI/DH) if you can, but otherwise, just keep mum about wedding plans around the office and they will get the hint. When people who are not invited ask me questions, I respond as vaguely as possible and change the subject.

Post # 10
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i would always include a guest. maybe you can only include certain people? I am inviting my boss and his wife, the COO and his wife, another division manager and his wife and a co worker in my department and his wife. (luckily my department is small, only 2 of us) but there is no way i could include all the people that i wanted without hurting others so i picked a few that were kind of a given…

Post # 11
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i chose not to invite any current co-workers or bosses.  i have a past co-worker from ages ago that is a good friend, so i invited her. 

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