Post # 1
Ack! So my biggest fear happened! My co-workers are assuming they are invited to my wedding! Yes, I am inviting some of my co-workers and my bosses (I have 3). However, I am only inviting co-workers with whom I’m directly working with or have directly worked with in the past. I am sending out my co-worker invites a bit later than my other invites because I’m a teacher and I figure I can send them out the last week of May, and that won’t give co-workers much time to talk about who got and who didn’t get an invite before summer starts. My co-workers did NOT get an STD as they already know my date (bosses likely don’t, but likely won’t come…around here you just invite your boss to be polite, and they usually politely decline) and I didn’t want any talking.
I’ve many co-workers who are NOT invited that ask about planning and I’ll keep it brief like “It’s going well” then follow up with a topic-changer… however, so many co-workers are asking what “we” will be eating for dinner, or making comments like “I hope you play XYZ, I love that song.” I’m not planning on saying “you’re not invited.” but I don’t talk wedding at school except with my friend (who was a friend BEFORE we worked together) and only when we’re alone in one of our rooms. Maybe I’m just over thinking it…
I don’t know…. am I handling this the best way possible? I know people are going to be upset… that is just the way it is…. but I figure if I send out my invites on May 30 and school gets out on the 6th, there is really only a week for people to talk… and the mail isn’t always on the same rotation…. so hopefully by next school year my wedding will have been long forgotten.
Post # 3
I think you’re doing fine. They’re either kidding around, or they’re being presumptuous and rude.
Post # 4
id just say that you have a limited amount of space for guests… they’ll get the idea ha!
Post # 5
@GamersBride: This always blows my mind. I would never assume I was invited to a wedding. I had my dads side of the family do this to me…write things on facebook like “I hope we’re home from vacation in time for your wedding,” and I’m thinking “umm you’re not invited.” I think it’s rude on their part to assume they’re invited to such a special occasion not to mention put you in this awkward situation.
Post # 6
So funny.. That has happened to me a few times. We initially had co-workers say to us “oh, we’ll definitely be getting onto your gift registry earlier, so we aren’t left with all the expensive gifts”, as they had recently been invited to another wedding.
We hadn’t even considered inviting them before that comment!
Again later we had a different co-worker say to us during a conversation about a different wedding “let’s hope you guys don’t put us through that”, when talking about a particular band or wedding song. We definitely aren’t inviting that co-worker as we’re not close and only talk at work.
It’s an awkward thing, but people generally understand that weddings can be expensive these days, and so understand when they do not get an invite. I think the co-worker situation is very similar to when you’re together with friends, so colleagues tend to talk as if you’re all friends and as if it’s just assumed they’ll come along. A lot of the time it is just a slip of the tongue on their part though.
Don’t stress. I’m sure they’ll catch up on your photos via facebook anyway. 🙂
Post # 7
@GamersBride: this is so hard to decide I think. I got nothing but I feel for you!
Post # 8
Thanks ladies. This makes me feel a lot better. I try hard to please everyone, but in this case, I just cannot invite everyone. Honestly, I don’t think half the people who try to talk about my wedding actually would attend… however, one of my co-workers today said “Hey, I’ll probably have to skip the ceremony and just go to the reception because I’m a Jehova’s Witness and cannot go into your church. Hope you don’t mind.” Luckily my principal walked in and needed to talk to me so I didn’t have to finish that awkward conversation with her.
However randomly enough I have some Jehova’s Witnesses in my family/friends and we have a video camera/monitor set up so they can watch the ceremony too (from the comfort of the public library next door). Totally got the idea from 4 weddings!