Post # 1
I am married already and have read countless posts on what is etiquette or not, and this surprised me.
I work at a small, rural clinic (about 80-100 employees). We all know each other, but I wouldn’t consider most of us close, especially me. I’m IT, so I don’t spend as much time as the nurses do with each other.
I get an e-mail in my COMPANY e-mail, with every employee’s name attached to it that says, “Sarah’s Shower.” (not her real name)
I just wanted to let you know [Sarah] is registered at target and kohl’s. If you’d like to go in on a gift for her please give the money to Tia or myself by 08/21/2013.
What the effin’ eff? First of all, I don’t see a poster up for a bridal shower, and I sure as hell didn’t get an personal invite.
Guess I just found it incredibly rude to send a mass e-mail to people who weren’t even invited AND use company e-mail to do so (even if it is for an employee’s bridal shower. No money will be contributed from this gal. Sorry.
Post # 3
@megz06: I definitely think this is wrong and all sorts of tacky, BUT it’s better than these people going person-to-person solicitating money. This is what happens at my office. I got married in June, and no one did this on my behalf (thank Goodness). I hate it when someone who never talks to me comes up and asks me to give money to someone else I never talk to. This has happened to me twice in the past year, and I work in a large office – probably around 150 people are on my floor. It puts you in such an awkward decision.
Just delete it. And be thankful that no one did this on your behalf when you were getting married!
Post # 4
@megz06: that is a little odd of a request when you didn’t even get an invite to the shower. maybe the shower was word of mouth and the word hasn’t come to you yet?
if you are not close to this bride, i wouldn’t contribute or attend.
Post # 5
@megz06: Oh, how can I even begin to describe my level of hatred for everyone at work soliciting me for money? No, I don’t want any cookies, chocolate, or candles; no, I don’t want to go out for expensive lunches, dinners, or drinks; no, I don’t want to bring a crock pot to work for a pot luck; and no, I will NOT GIVE YOU MY MONEY! I go to work to make money, not spend it. If there is a cause I want to support, then I will (and do). If I am friends with someone at work, then I will get them a gift if I feel it’s warranted. I can make those decisions all by myself. I hate being asked.
Okay, that was a bit more of a rant than I anticipated, lol. What I’m getting at is, I understand how you feel 😛
Post # 6
@megz06: Actually, this is bvery common where I work. Sort of- mostly it’s for retirements or funerals, but once in a while a baby or wedding sneaks through.
I don’t think anything of it. If it’s someone I don’t know, delete. If it’s someone I do know, maybe I throw in $5 and sign the card.
Not a big deal at all.
Post # 7
@Apple_Blossom: I see this, too. It doesn’t happen a lot where I work, thankfully. The one time it really pissed me off was last Christmas when four people solicited me for money to get something for our branch manager, who makes like 5x what I make. No, I will not give you money for someone who doesn’t need money. Get him a fucking card. They’d planned on giving him a gift certificate and they ended up just giving him the cash. wtf.
Post # 8
My boss always goes too far in the OTHER direction — she knows she makes more than us and doesn’t ever want to put us out, so when someone in the department gets married or has a baby or whatever, she buys an expensive gift herself and then says it’s from all of us and refuses to take any money from us. So we all get gratefully thanked for, like, a $150 baby swing that we not only didn’t help pay for, but didn’t even know about. I always end up feeling like an asshole. I guess it’s better than getting hit up for money, though!
Post # 9
@megz06: So I did this recently for a coworker but I only sent it to his friends, not the whole company. We do this from time to time within our department as well to celebrate marriages, births, etc. I’ve never heard anyone say they were offended by it.
Post # 10
Interesting. be thankful it was an e-mail you can ignore and no one came soliciting you in person! I’m so glad I work at a small office where my boss just foots the bill for group gifts for these type of events.
Post # 11
It’s in my deleted items now 🙂 I was just put off and thought I’d share. It would be different had their been an invite…not just a grab for my money.
Post # 12
if it is on the 21st that’s in a week. could it be a work shower?
My FFIL just had one of those at his office.
Post # 13
@megz06: This is extremely common (and welcome) in my workplace. Nobody is obligated to give anything (and I think many people don’t), but going away parties, baby showers, and work showers are organized and solicited by email. Nobody bats an eye. I think it’s nice.
(This is only for parties thrown IN THE OFFICE, not some other shower that a person is having)
Post # 14
It doesn’t seem like a big deal – no one’s forcing you to do anything.
Post # 15
@megz06: Ummmmm……that is just tacky. How come people feel like it always has to be more more more?? It seems like people are just never satisfied to get what they get. If I was not invited to the shower, I would not be giving money to show my appreciation of not being invited.
Post # 16
@megz06: I don’t see the big deal. If you’re a coworker who’s friendly with the bride in question, maybe you want to participate or contribute, or even just because it’s a nice thought. If you don’t want to, delete it and move on.
For me, I’m not super close with everyone in my office, and I understand the limitations of event invites, but if someone were getting married or something else significant, I would be happy to contribute for the sake of office good cheer. But maybe I’m less sensitive than others. It’s an exciting time in this coworker’s life, and I’d be happy to celebrate with her.